Category: Uncategorized

By Ron Pevny

In these confusing times of ever-accelerating technological change, I find myself often reflecting upon the most important gifts we elders can leave to our descendants. The archetypal role of the elders has since time immemorial been to use their wisdom, the fruit of their lifetimes of experience and growth, to teach the younger generations about those enduring values that support the best of human potential—those values that define our humanity regardless of everchanging external circumstances. What follows are some of my reflections about those values.

I am amazed at the depth of emotion that has been arising in me as I become increasingly knowledgeable about the unprecedented power of Artificial Intelligence to both improve and degrade human wellbeing. Proponents of AI, ranging from the ultra-rich whose fortunes are tied to constantly pushing the limits of technology to teachers of spiritual growth who claim that it is the next step in human evolution, have no difficulty finding venues and eager ears for their perspectives. At the same time, the human spirit needs strong voices—voices passionately speaking with elder wisdom—who remind the modern world and our descendants of our inborn native intelligence and what constitutes true human flowering, in contrast to the threats to our humanity posed by unthinking embrace of all that glitters technologically. It is not all gold.

The work of the Center for Conscious Eldering has always been to remind us of our human potential and the necessity of having healthy relationship to our planet home, our human community, and our innate capabilities. This is the legacy I leave to future generations—my contribution to human wellbeing and evolution. As I attempt to understand the role of AI in both supporting and diminishing human wellbeing—very much a work in progress—in this article I offer several passionate reminders of what it means to embrace our native humanity and potential for growth.

We grow by taking time to mindfully create, write, and think matters and problems through for ourselves rather than always racing to AI to get answers, ideas, wording, analysis or summarizations. The process of our endeavoring and the satisfaction we get from completing our efforts is at least as important to our wellbeing as the product. I heard from someone recently offering (for a fee of course) to use AI to write articles for this journal on any topic of interest to older adults. I responded that words created by human beings carry energy and experience as well as information. I want my journal to touch hearts as well as minds. So no thanks.

We honor and feed our humanity by allowing ourselves to do things slowly and with presence rather than and living our lives as multi-taskers, always seeking ease and speed. Just because AI helps us do things easier and quicker does not equate to serving our development as capable human beings.

We cultivate our abilities to think creatively by giving ourselves space to daydream, be quiet, allow and move through boredom, carefully observe what is in our internal and external environment, and savor the often-subtle possibilities in each moment, rather than feeding the addiction to constant stimulation conditioned in us by technology’s devices. We cannot hear the subtle voice of our inner wisdom when our inner and outer lives are filled with noise.

We can choose to learn from, and be supported physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually by the natural world in which we are intrinsically imbedded rather than living increasingly virtual lives in a virtual world. Today, at a time when unbridled technology more than ever is undermining what is natural in and around us, we need the healing, heart-opening energies of nature. And yet most of us spend countless hours indoors connected to our devices, further disconnecting us from what is natural in ourselves.

As we go about the daily tasks of life, such as shopping or banking, we can make the decision to prioritize interactions with other humans, which give energy and spice to life and serve as catalysts and mirrors for our growth. The interactions that are vital to human community are being replaced by (often stressful) interactions with AI on our phones and computers. We still have some choice. Do we usually choose ease at the expense of human connection?

It’s critical to remember that growth does not happen in isolation. We grow only by being pushed outside our comfort zones as we learn to better understand the strengths and weaknesses, needs and aspirations, of ourselves and others. If we are committed to growth in our elder years, we need kindred spirits to support and be supported by. Many participants in our conscious eldering retreats have teamed up afterwards to support each other in doing the challenging work of aging consciously. Imagine—Real committed human beings, with their strengths and flaws in a relationship of mutual respect and growth sharing their journeys! As AI expands its hold on our psyches, do we choose to cultivate such real human relationships, or to have “relationship” with an AI bot, which is now being promoted by some, and which cannot share our experience of being truly human and requires very little of us?

Growing and developing wisdom are not the same as accumulating information, no matter how inspiring that may feel. For all Zoom’s benefits in providing a sense of connection and potentially useful information, talking to people and hearing spiritual teachers via small boxes on a computer screen is far from equivalent to sharing each other’s energies, personality dynamics, challenges, breakthroughs, experiences, and hugs while sitting with them in circle, face to face. Since the pandemic, I know that many people now won’t even consider in-person retreats or other growth experiences because they can “get the information, or do some practices, on Zoom.” Again, real growth and the development of our human wisdom require stepping outside our comfort zones. Stretching ourselves. Committing to prioritizing some growth experiences, if at all possible, in person with others.

As the world’s wisdom traditions have taught us time immemorial, our minds have immense untapped potential. This age-old wisdom and more recent psychological breakthroughs have shown us numerous paths and practices to tap this potential. Our natural intelligence is readily available to us if we are willing to stretch beyond our perceived limits to discover and use it. The work of conscious eldering and many other pathways to genuine growth, is to help people learn to tap our innate intelligence in ways that support our planet’s ecosystems, thriving communities, and our obligation to bring forth the best of our humanity. The elder’s role is to help model for society commitment to the built-in natural potential of today’s and future generations and to stand up for those human values that must endure even as many of the enticing technological creations of the human mind threaten to undermine what is best in our humanity. It is our elder wisdom that can, and must, help modern society discern and support what is truly golden in a landscape filled with ever-more pervasive and glittery fool’s gold. 

The new, updated edition of Ron’s Book, Conscious Living, Conscious Aging, inspired a wide range of interviews in video and podcast form. Listen in on some insightful conversations about issues affecting individuals and society as we age.

Podcasts

Story Host Podcast with Joe Lambert

The “Long, Strange Trip” Podcast with Josh Patrick

Retire With Purpose Podcast with Casey Weade

Les Grands Createurs Podcast with Nathalie Lavoie

Beth Mauroni:  Conscious Living Summit presentation

Jeff Armstrong:  Aging Well Podcast 

Richard Cohn of Beyond Words on Healthy Life Net

 Rejuvenaging Podcast with Dr. Ron Kaiser

Emily Francis:  All About Healing Podcast

Victor Fuhrman: Vox Novus Radio and Podcast

Johnny Tan: For Your Mother’s Kitchen Radio

Glowing Older podcast  with Nancy Griffin

The Patricia Raskin Show on Voice America

The Banyen Books of Vancouver Podcast with Ross McKeachie

By Ron Pevny

We all know that we live in a time of intense polarization in seemingly all aspects of life.
To my mind, there is a potential gift in this painful polarization, and that is the reality that
the human family has the opportunity to experience in a compelling way the stark
difference between fear-and-ego-grounded unconsciousness, and consciousness grounded
in vision of the human potential for vision, community, growth and wholeness. As we are
assailed each day by images, messages and energies that feed fear and unconsciousness,
those of us for whom the fulfillment of human potential is the highest value NEED the
support of kindred spirits if we are to shine urgently needed light in a world teetering on a
knife edge between transformation and collapse. All of us of any age need the support of
true community. This is especially true for those of us committed to becoming the
conscious elders whose wisdom, commitment and courage can make a great difference in
what the polarization of these times leads to.

Throughout history, in cultures around the world, rites of passage have been the template
for supporting individuals in moving through the transition process, for their own growth
and for the wellbeing of their communities. Those moving from one life sage to another
were prepared by the acknowledged wise elders for their transition and the ceremonies of
initiation that marked this.And when they were ready to return to the community, the
elders as well as the “youngers” heard and acknowledged their stories of growth and
welcomed them and their newfound or newly understood gifts back to community.

We now live in a different world that has lost touch with understanding of what the
human psyche needs to grow through life’s inner and outer stages. Yet our human need
for community support in moving through the transitions between these stages remains
the same. As people seeking to age consciously, our challenge is to find such support. It
is difficult, if not impossible, to navigate the life transition process without the support of
at least a few kindred spirits. This reality became very real for me in this personal story
I’d like to share with you.

Eighteen years ago I experienced a health crisis that I have since recognized as my rite of
passage onto my elder journey. I came to realize as I emerged from this crisis how pivotal
it was in requiring me to let go of my previous way of understanding and defining my
life, and in helping me emerge from a lengthy, difficult time feeling lost somewhere
between who I had been and who I could become. This time of crisis ended with a
profound spiritual experience that opened the door to my beginning to recognize and
claim the role and gifts of my elderhood. However, my sense of new beginning was
fragile, unfolded slowly, and at times seemed to be an illusion.

Then, a couple years later, while in a beautiful wilderness setting with a few friends and a
wise elder I considered a mentor, I realized that this personal, informal rite of passage
was missing something crucial – acknowledgment and ritual support from others who are
my “community.” We were near a stream, and I asked this mentor to help me create a
baptism ceremony for myself to mark and empower the new life stage I was slowly but
surely growing into. With this impactful ceremony, using flowing water and a few loving
witnesses, my passage into a new life chapter finally felt real. It felt so very important to
have others witness my telling the story of my transition, to affirm my growth through
this process, and to pledge their support moving forward.

I repeat: We need the support of community to successfully navigate our transition into a
conscious elderhood. If at all possible, receive your needed support in person. Being
together face to face and heart to heart allows us to share human energies and subtle cues
that cannot be transmitted online. And even moreso cannot be provided by an AI, which
has the ability to provide information and say supportive things, but cannot give and
receive the love and other energies necessary for human growth and wellbeing.
This may well require stepping out of our comfort zones in a word that is focused on
maximizing ease, comfort and efficiency by minimizing human interactions, but growth
only happens by stretching ourselves; growth does not happen in our comfort zones.
And accumulation of information, ever-easier these days, is not growth. Growth
requires developing the various facets of our natural human intelligence, and supporting
this with information.

Here are ways you can receive and provide such support.
* Ask someone you consider a kindred spirit, who cares about your growth and theirs, to
be a conscious eldering buddy with whom you can share honestly and deeply what is true
for you as you negotiate this challenging transition. If at all possible, meet in person with
this partner.
* Find people who share your commitment to aging consciously and create a support
group. Together, your group can share your collective wisdom and experience, your
fears and enthusiasms, on this journey. You can read and write together with focus on
supporting each other’s growth.
* Your support group can play a role in rituals you and they create to help support your
and their important inner and outer changes.
* As you gain increasing clarity about your emerging new life chapter, share this with
your community. Share your goals and intentions, and ask for their support in staying true
to them as you nurture the new sense of self you are growing into.
* Make a conscious effort to engage regularly with children, youth and younger adults.

The archetypal role of elder is one of sharing wisdom, big-picture perspective, and the
energy of wholeness with the younger generations, while being energized, informed and
kept flexible by their enthusiasm, idealism and attunement to societal changes.

Moving through the inner work of life transition requires living as consciously and
courageously as possible. This is not, and has never been, a journey for those unwilling to
endure the discomfort of stretching, and being stretched, beyond what is familiar easy,
and comfortable. With fear and negativity so pervasive, it is critical to counter these with
the energies of hope, trust, inspiration, and love if our inner lives are to thrive and growth
to happen. For most of us it is impossible to do so in isolation. We are hard-wired to
resonate with the energies of the society we live in and the people close to us.

Fortunately, it’s not a matter of numbers. Even a few conscious people in our lives can
make the critical difference if we are to have any hope of living consciously and
intentionally at a stage in our lives where losses and fears are increasingly strong realities
along with vast potential for growth and fulfillment.

Our family or social friends may not be our “soul family.” Finding our soul community
may well require us to take the lead in initiating relationships, and accepting that our
search may result in various “false positives.” However, if our intention and motivation
are strong, we will find conscious, kindred spirits or they will find us. And with the
support of kindred community we elders and our communities can thrive amid the chaos.
.

By Barb Roth
Aren’t we lucky? 200 years ago, many of us would not still be alive. I would have died from my
bout of cancer, when I was hit by a car, or from several other health issues. But now we can live
thanks to “modern” medicine. Ageing has given us new chances, new opportunities, new lives in
some ways. For those with enough money to have a warm house and food, life is pretty good.
We can have fun!

Becoming an elder enters us into a specific developmental stage of life. Like all human
developmental stages, it comes with crucial tasks to be accomplished. Self-reflection, giving
back, sharing our wisdom and readying for the end of life are but a few of these tasks. The
challenge is to weave these into a life full of new health challenges and the desire sometimes to
simply rest.

Mary Pipher tells us in her book Women Rowing North, “With each new stage of life, we
outgrow the strategies that worked for us at our earlier stage”. When we outgrow them, we then
need newly adapted strategies. I have found I need new strategies for balancing “doing” and
“resting”, new strategies for saying yes or no, and new strategies for knowing myself. I find
myself needing to question my habits. What served me as a working Mom in my 40’s may be
detrimental to me as a retiree in my 70’s. I need to make space and time for how I want to spend
my time now. If I am constantly cleaning, cooking, doing laundry and “working” (now as a
volunteer) as my life demanded earlier – there will not be time for writing, reflecting,
journalling, meditating and reading that I want to be doing now.

I am working on these strategies for myself:
– Being a Conscious Elder
– Embracing being a Crone
– Learning to find Balance
– Coping with evolving new Health needs
– Allowing for Creativity
– Making the World a better place
– Sharing Wisdom

Many elders struggle with what it means to find and share wisdom at this age. I have found that
when we are self-reflective, when we take time to know ourselves and deepen our relationships
with honesty and time, this happens quite naturally. An informal conversation in which I share a
story from my work life with a young colleague at a gathering, results in her sending a thank you
card for the wisdom I shared.

Wisdom? I didn’t know I was sharing wisdom. When my youngest daughter is looking for a new
career opportunity and calls to talk through how she should handle her interview, asking me my
opinion about her strategies, it is a chance to share wisdom from my experiences. And when my
friend gets a similar type of cancer that I had years ago it is another opportunity. We also share
wisdom when we write articles or letters others will read, when we speak at events and when we
write our memoirs. Wisdom includes both big insights and small ideas. We have lived a long
time and so we have experienced a lot. With this comes wisdom.

Zoning in on two of the strategies I have worked on, Embracing being a Crone and Learning to
Find Balance, I see that the change in strategy is on-going.

Embracing being a Crone has evolved from learning about the value of wise old women in
other cultures and working to disregard what my culture tells me about aging. Our culture paints
a grim picture of aging that I have not found to be true. When searching for research on women
aging in our country 80-90% of what is found is exclusively about our health issues. We are so
much more than our ailments and struggles, important as they are. I now believe that the
wisdom, knowledge and passion we have is exactly what the world needs. It is not easy to stay
conscious; in fact, our increased awareness can bring to the surface anger and sadness. But this
awareness is crucial for a fulfilled life that has an impact.

Conscious Eldering Retreats have supported me in settling into my last stage of life with
a mostly positive attitude and renewed sense of curiosity about life. Important to my wellbeing
are my creative outlets (writing, knitting, painting), my connection with nature (hiking). and
positive relationships with my husband. adult children and grandchildren. I have sought out
wisdom from others, mostly women, in books and articles on aging and becoming a Crone.
Prayer, meditation, reading sacred texts, ritual and connections with others in spiritual practice
support my spirit at this time of life. Volunteering and giving round out my self-care and the
fulfillment I achieve now.

I love spreading the word that being an old woman is an honored place in our world. I also push
back, sometimes gently and sometimes not, when others try to engage me in some of the
culturally acceptable focus areas for older women. Have I lost weight? Am I thinking about
Botox? Am I on a diet? NO – NO – NO. OK I do color my hair but not to look younger; being a
redhead has always been part of my identity and I’m not giving it up yet. My Aunt Barbara was a
redhead until the day she died at 94.

My time and spirit are too precious for lots of focus on my looks, I need to focus on being
healthy and learning. My latest effort to continue learning and to give back was helping to design
a retreat specifically for women moving into their Crone years. The inaugural retreat was held on
sacred ground in Ireland in August. It dove deeply into the unique issues, challenges, and
strengths that women have as elders. Participants welcomed becoming Wise Women—Crones

Many people of various ages and genders have laughed when I’ve said I’m proud to be a Crone,
thinking I am making a joke. I see this statement as a way to take back this word and restore it to
its original respected and honored meaning–a true, wise woman elder. This year I was gifted a
drinking glass with green spots and black “witches’” hats on it (made for Halloween I think) by
my stepdaughter. She said it looked like a Crone glass. She heard me! I use it every day.
May all women and men reading this article and this newsletter spread the word that conscious
elder women are strong, free, and full of wisdom.

Barbara Roth retired in 2018 from a career focused on child and youth development in local, state and
national arenas. Since then, she has been on a conscious eldering journey which started with a weeklong
Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreat at Ghost Ranch, New Mexico one week after retirement and has
continued with participation in the Next Step program ,co-leading Choosing Conscious Elderhood
retreats, writing articles for Conscious Eldering Inspiration and Resources Journal, and doing the inner
work that she teaches.
Barbara can be reached at barbaraanneroth@gmail.com

by Katia Petersen

Personal Reflection

Amid the noise and complexity of our era, awe restores proportion. This experience becomes a contemplative doorway into humility, gratitude, and reverence for life’s mystery. Whether encountered in nature, though music, silence, or relationship, awe reconnects us to the vastness from which we came and to which we belong. In cultivating awe, we strengthen resilience and remember that even in times of crisis and challenges, beauty remains.

Introduction

Awe is the experience of encountering something vast—something that stretches our usual frame of reference and gently rearranges our sense of self. Experiencing awe is often overlooked as an essential aspect of Spiritual Eldering. Awe invites us into moments of pure magic—through nature, beauty, creativity, or human connection—that soften the boundaries of the self and expand our sense of meaning. Research and lived wisdom alike show that awe strengthens compassion, resilience, and belonging. In later life, awe becomes less about seeking the extraordinary and more about learning to notice what has always been present, reminding us that we are part of something larger and still becoming.

Awe in the Language of Spiritual Eldering

In the practice of Spiritual Eldering, awe becomes a quiet but profound teacher. It softens the edges of ego and loosens identities that have grown rigid over time. Those roles and labels that once helped us function, no longer tell the whole truth of who we are at this stage of our lives. Awe gently expands our perspective, moving us beyond fear, urgency, or scarcity, reminding us that life is larger, more mysterious, and more generous than any single chapter we have lived so far. Through awe, we are reconnected to meaning—not as an abstract idea, but as a lived experience. It restores a sense of belonging, to the earth, to one another, to the long arc of life itself. Awe helps us re-author our story beyond cultural narratives of productivity, decline, or usefulness, inviting us instead into a wider understanding of purpose that continues to unfold with age. Awe whispers a simple but powerful truth: you are part of something larger—and that larger story includes you.

For Sages (Elders) and Seekers alike, awe does not require extraordinary experiences. It often arrives through encounters that are already woven into daily life. It may emerge while standing beneath a wide sky, listening to the ocean, walking among trees, or noticing the turning of the seasons. It may arise through music, art, poetry, or moments of creative expression that open the heart. Awe is often present at life’s thresholds—birth and death, endings and beginnings—where certainty gives way to reverence. It can also be felt in acts of courage, kindness, or forgiveness, or in moments when we pause long enough to remember our life as a whole, not just as a series of tasks or events. In this way, awe becomes a companion through complexity. It helps us release regret without bypassing truth, allowing us to hold our lives honestly while softening self-judgment. Awe teaches us how to carry grief and gratitude together, without needing to resolve the tension between them. It strengthens our sense of continuity across generations, helping us recognize ourselves as both inheritors and stewards of wisdom. Perhaps awe helps us feel at home in not knowing—resting in mystery rather than rushing toward certainty.

Cultivating Awe as a Daily Practice

Cultivating awe as a daily practice does not require much time or effort. It begins with small acts of attention: a brief pause, each day to notice what touches your heart, what stirs within you, a walk taken without destination or agenda; listening to a piece of music as if it were a form of prayer. Awe, can also be awakened by recalling moments from our life story that once filled us with wonder, or by sitting quietly with a simple question such as, What still amazes me? Over time, these small practices strengthen our capacity for reverence and perspective. They help us meet the world—and ourselves—with greater presence, humility, and compassion. In the journey of Spiritual Eldering, awe is not an escape from the realities of aging or a denial of loss. It is a way of standing fully within life as it is, while remaining open to the vastness that surrounds and sustains us. Awe, in this sense, is something we grow into.

Awe as the Beginning of Wisdom

For Abraham Joshua Heschel, awe is not a fleeting emotion. It is the foundation of wisdom itself. He shares that before we analyze, decide, or act, awe invites us to pause in reverence, and opens us to the mystery of being. Awe, in this sense, is about recognizing the depth of life that exceeds our understanding. As we age, awe becomes a teacher of humility. It helps us loosen our grip on certainty and control, inviting us into ethical presence and spiritual maturity. Awe reminds us that wisdom begins not with answers, but with inquiry and wonder.

Experiencing Awe Across the Lifespan

From an early age, I was taught to notice the extraordinary woven into ordinary life and to pause long enough to realize that Awe was not something rare or distant; it lived in sunrise over my grandparents’ farm, in the quiet glow of sunsets before dinner, in the miracle of springtime growth, in the vast power of the ocean, and in the sacred arrival of a newborn child. I learned that wonder was always present, waiting for attention.

One of my earliest memories of awe comes from when I was about seven years old, visiting my grandparents. I was chasing butterflies through the milkweed fields, frustrated they would not stop flying so I could see them up close. My grandmother suggested that instead of running after them, I sit very still and quiet and perhaps the butterflies would come to me. I settled into the grass and waited. Before long, two butterflies landed softly on me and I held my breath as I studied the intricate colors of their wings, their fragile beauty, before they flew away. I felt something awaken inside me at that moment. A sense of magic beyond words. My grandmother smiled and said these special moments are always there for us to experience, if we slow down enough to notice.

Perhaps this is part of what elderhood invites us into. The deepening capacity to stand still longenough for wonder to land gently upon us.

Katia Petersen PhD, is the President of Petersen Argo Inc. an organization focusing on Transformational Leadership. Over the years she has played leadership roles with several organizations that promote human and environmental wellbeing, bringing to her work decades of experience as a psychotherapist, educator, author, mentor, and activist. Most recently, Katia has served as co-creator of Sage-ing International’s new soon-to-be-released, practice-filled Spiritual Eldering Guidebook, which will be highlighted in the Summer issue of this journal. Katia can be reached at katia.petersen57@gmail.com Tel. 415-902-6851

Audiobook available now!

The new, expanded and updated edition of Ron Pevny’s book, Conscious Living, Conscious Aging is now available through Beyond Words Publishing, Bookshop.org, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or request your copy from your local bookstore.

Conscious Living, Conscious Aging is an inspiring guide to the next chapter of your life. We’re living longer, healthier lives than ever before, and this book helps you to make the most of these new opportunities.

A new audio edition is also now available wherever audiobooks are sold, including Audible.

Reviews

“Ron Pevny’s book Conscious Living, Conscious Aging is a unique and valuable resource for those seeking purpose, service, and continual growth in the later chapters of their lives. Its uniqueness lies in its weaving together of Sage-ing and other conscious aging practices, deep wisdom about life transitions and rites of passage, and inspiring stories from those who have chosen to engage in this inner work, all with the goal of supporting the development of the conscious elders our world urgently needs.” — Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, co-author of From Age-ing to Sage-ing

“Ron Pevny’s spot-on wisdom on the elegance of aging is spiritually relevant and deeply useful. His is an inspiring voice for living in greater mindfulness within each present moment.” — Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Life Visioning

“Conscious Living, Conscious Aging fills a conspicuous gap in the literature concerning positive aspects of growing older…The book is well-documented, clearly written, and insightful.” — Robert C. Atchley, PhD, author of Spirituality and Aging

“Ron Pevny’s book Conscious Living, Conscious Aging is a gem of a book that I would recommend to every self-reflective person at or beyond mid-life. It will entice you on a journey of inner growth that makes the elder years richer and more satisfying and vital than most people can imagine. It could change the paradigm of aging and how elders can reclaim their traditional social roles as wise stewards and mentors. Ron brings to the book the wisdom of his great experience, both personal and from leading ‘Choosing Conscious Elderhood’ retreats and other nature-based programs (full disclosure: I participated in one recently). Each chapter takes up one of the issues we need to confront and work through to be conscious elders––for example, healing and releasing the past through reframing our stories , healing relationships, forgiving ourselves and others, and letting go of outworn identities; facing our mortality; building legacy, and balancing serving and savoring. Each chapter ends with an illustrative “story by the fire”; one of the most compelling for me was ‘From Grief to Gratitude in the Death Lodge,’ about a mother’s healing from her daughter’s suicide several years previously. Resources and exercises are appended. The writing is elegant and lucid, and yet at the same time it’s as though you are having a conversation with Ron around a campfire. I’m gifting this book to friends for the holidays.” –Meg Newhouse

“Prophetic wisdom!!! This book should be required reading for all who turn 50! The author’s writing is a culmination of sages across all time lines and cultures. The book is definitely most beneficial when it is used in a circle — in other words, when you put the words into action — for the purposes of personal reflection, support, and affirmation. When you engage the book on this level, you reap a treasure trove of gifts.” –Jivana

“Our youth oriented society truly needs this book. Those of us who are already elders and those approaching elder hood need the encouragement and clear message of what can be accomplished, no matter your “old” age. It is all about Choice, folks. This writing defines it beautifully.” –Kathleen Guest

By Martina Breen

Many of us who have embraced conscious elderhood feel the weight of these times. We are living through an era of collapse and unravelling—a time when so much of what we once trusted is crumbling. The climate crisis, social upheaval, political instability, and collective grief weigh heavily on our hearts. We may feel powerless, disillusioned, anxious about the world we are leaving behind. Many elders today feel despair over the world their children and grandchildren are inheriting. There is grief for what has been lost, anger at the destruction, fear for the future. The threshold we are facing now is not just personal but global.

I come from Celtic ancestry and in the Celtic tradition, crisis was never seen as the end of the story. The Celts understood that destruction and renewal are woven together. 1 The old must break down so that something new may emerge. They believed that when something remains unspoken, unresolved, or unforgiven; it can haunt us and our descendants. This is why they had rites for reconciliation, so that no soul would cross a threshold burdened by unfinished business. These included The Anamchairde (Soul Friend) Confession & Reconciliation, partaking in threshold rituals during the 8 festivals on the Celtic Calendar.2

So, reflecting on this; what if part of our task as elders is not to fix everything, but to become carriers of wisdom and peace? What if, we as elders, are called not to despair but to turn inward, to find meaning in the midst of collapse, and to take up the work of inner transformation. Turning inward does not mean disengaging from the world. On the contrary, when we do our own inner work, we become a source of steadiness for others. We learn to respond rather than react, to bring wisdom rather than more fear. This is how elders have always guided their communities through crisis—not by fixing everything, but by being a presence of depth and perspective3 .

And, at the heart of this inner work is Forgiveness. The work of forgiveness—of making peace within ourselves—allows us to stand as steady presences in a world of uncertainty. Forgiveness is not about denying pain, but about choosing to respond from a place of depth rather than fear. I feel it’s always important to reiterate that ‘to forgive is not to excuse or forget harm done’, whether personally or collectively, but rather to release the hold that resentment and pain have over us, allowing space for healing, accountability, and transformation. How relevant is this inner work to us at this time in the world! Today we are being called to stand as wisdom keepers in a world longing for guidance, to hold steady in a time of collapse.

One way of engaging with forgiveness in our lives is through ritual. The Death Lodge is a sacred space where we invite the people of our lives—both living and dead, loved ones and those with whom we have unfinished business—into an imaginal conversation. Rooted in indigenous traditions and echoed in Celtic rites of passage4, the Death Lodge is not about physical death but rather the death of the old self, allowing for renewal and transformation. It is a ritual where we enter into a place of truth-telling, where nothing remains unsaid.

During my own Death Lodge experience at Ghost Ranch, I entered into imaginal conversations with those I needed to make peace with—asking for forgiveness, offering it in return, and speaking the words that had remained unspoken. It was a profound experience and what struck me most was how real and complete the work felt within the Death Lodge itself, as if something had truly shifted in the unseen realm. In the days and weeks that followed, this sense of resolution was affirmed. I witnessed its effects unfolding in my actual relationships—encounters softened, long-held tensions eased, and unexpected moments of reconciliation emerged.

This experience affirmed for me what many wisdom traditions have long understood: when we do the inner work, we are not just shifting our personal consciousness—we are impacting the quantum field itself. Forgiveness is not only an internal process; it ripples outward, creating real and tangible shifts in the world around us. In this time of unravelling, when so much feels broken and beyond our control, this truth is more vital than ever. The healing we seek in the outer world begins within.

I believe, in this time of unravelling, we are being invited into a collective death lodge. The world as we knew it is dissolving. We cannot cling to what is falling away. But we can do the inner work of reconciliation, healing, and deep listening; to develop the ability to forgive—to mend what can be mended and to bless what cannot.

If we are to stand as elders in this time, we must make peace with our own life—not by pretending all is well, but by engaging in the sacred work of accepting life as it is today on today’s terms. We need to engage in the sacred work of forgiveness, of blessing, of releasing fear and stepping into wisdom. The world does not need more elders weighed down by despair. We need to release fear, embrace wisdom, and live from a place of deep presence.

The world does not need more elders weighed down by despair. It needs elders who, even in the midst of uncertainty, can stand at the threshold with open hands—offering guidance, blessing, and hope.

I end with a Celtic Blessing:

“May we step into this calling.
May we walk with courage.
And may we bless the road ahead.”

 

Martina lives in Ireland and is a mother and grandmother. In addition to co-leading Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreats in Ireland with Ron Pevny, she is a certified Gestalt Psychotherapist and Spiritual Companion along with being a certified Sage-ing Leader with Sage-ing. International. She is currently doing a year-long intensive training on Forgiveness. with the Path of Forgiveness organization. Martina can be reached at martinasbreen@gmail.com.

1 John O’Donohue has many books on the wisdom of Celtic Spirituality. His first one, Anam Cara is a gem. O’Donohue, J. (1997). Anam cara: A book of Celtic wisdom. HarperCollins.

2 Read more on this: Ó Duinn, Seán. (2000). The Rites of Brigid: Goddess & Saint. Columba Press.

3 Parker J. Palmer. (2018). On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, and Getting Old

4 There are many writers on the Celtic Rites of Passage and Ritual. One good place to start is Matthews, John & Caitlín. (1995). The Encyclopaedia of Celtic Wisdom: A Celtic Shaman’s Sourcebook. Element Books.

by Ron Pevny

Elders Throughout History

For most of recorded history until relatively recent times, the role of elder was an honored one, with the wisdom, skills and personal qualities of elders understood to be critical for the wellbeing of communities. The role of elder was that of mentor to the younger generations in the enduring values that support harmony in the community. Elders initiated the young. They helped adults find and develop the gifts they were to share with the community. Because they had developed the bigger picture understanding of life that sees human wellbeing and that of the earth that supports them a inter-related and inter-dependent, it was the elders whose role it was to serve as the voice for future generations, reminding their community of the importance of making decisions with the sustainability of the culture and the earth in mind.

Unlike the situation in industrialized societies today in which there is no defined and honored role for its older adults, and most seniors live in their own homes or retirement communities, in “traditional” societies throughout history all the generations lived together in family groups. The roles and responsibilities of elders were integrated into the daily life of the community. The elders lived with children and adults in a web of mutual respect for the important roles all had in supporting the life of the family and the community.

Collaboration is Key to Survival

A growing body of research (such as that by Sidney Liebes, Elizabeth Sahtouris and Brian Swimme, authors of A Walk Through Time: The Evolution of Life on Earth) is pointing to a new (to the modern world) understanding of a key dynamic in the survival of both human and non-human communities. The Darwinian model of competition in which the “fittest” survive is being recognized as being a distorted and only partially true depiction of life’s dynamics. This understanding shows that all members of communities, whether human or non, must contribute to the health of the larger systems in which they are imbedded if they are to remain healthy. They must continually balance independence with interdependence, cooperating in win-win dynamics that support the wellbeing of all.

In contemporary culture, where older adults are largely seen as having made their contribution to society before retirement, a critical element is missing from this dynamic of cooperation. Seniors are not expected to continue cultivating elder qualities in themselves and to use these in service to the community. A great many seniors have little regular contact with young people, aside from occasional visits with grandchildren. By and large, young people and seniors have little in common, live in vastly different sub-cultures, cannot understand each other, and find it difficult to bridge the gaps if doing so does feel important to them.

Crisis Can Bring Out the Elder in Us

However, I believe this can change. Already, a rapidly increasing number of people are embracing an empowering vision for their aging. Rather than drifting into a disempowered old age, they are focusing on continual personal growth work to strengthen those qualities and commitments to service that have traditionally defined the role of elder. They recognize the importance of using their passion and talents in service to their communities and the ecosystems that support life. It seems to take crisis to galvanize people into action, and the imminent dangers of human-induced climate change and escalating societal breakdowns may well be the crises that can bring out the elder in millions more of us as we age, impelling us to begin looking at the legacy we will leave our descendants. The magnitude of this crisis is such that we cannot afford to have millions of older adults, as well as young people, standing on the sideline, not interested or not believing they can make a difference. Collaboration between elders and “youngers” can be key to success in dealing with climate change and other immediate crises that loom before us as well as envisioning longer term cultural transformation

Elder-Younger Partnerships Create Synergy

Elders can bring to the table time, money, experience creating change (e.g., the environmental, anti-war, female equality, and civil rights movements). They can contribute long-term perspective, political and financial clout, and a sense of urgency that time is limited for them to make a difference. Many elders have an experiential understanding of the importance of healthy planetary and cultural ecosystems for human physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. Elders can also bring an awareness, often not yet reached by younger people, that environmental and social action grounded in hatred and demonization of opponents most likely will only increase polarization, whereas willingness to truly listen to opposing viewpoints and act with an open heart (characteristics of true elders) can bring healing.

Youngers bring energy, idealism, and a wealth of experience with social media and technology in general. They bring concern about their futures and the problems they are inheriting, and anger at the generations ahead of them that created these problems. Elders can show them how to transform this justified anger into passionate commitment and effective engagement.

In recent years, an increasing number of organizations and projects have arisen to help elders and youngers bridge the age gap to tackle climate change, social injustice and community resilience. Here are a few of these. I believe these can serve as examples of what is possible in intergenerational collaboration. Perhaps some of you reading this may feel called to take the lead in this arena of elder service.

• Co-Generate; probably the best known and most active such organization with projects all around the country.

• Third Act (elders) and The Sunrise Movement (youngers) working together

• The Gray Panthers• Elders Action Network

• Link Generations: In Maryland at this time but with great potential elsewhere) focused on historical memory and social justice storytelling.

• Age to Age: Focused on community activism in Minnesota, and a great model for elsewhere

• All over the world: Projects in which elders and youngers do oral history with each other

As the viewpoints, ideas and skills of different generations are brought together in service to the wellbeing of all, a synergy is created that expands the vision, creativity and effectiveness of any one group. But just as important, such collaboration can result in a long overdue cultural change, in which elders are again honored and needed, and younger people have models for healthy aging whom they can aspire to emulate. Besides helping to create a world in which all our descendants can thrive, elder-younger partnerships can ,help restore social balance where every generation has a role within our human community.

by Steve Heaviland

In September, 2023 the associate pastor of my church and I started a “Sages and Souls” class, meeting every other week in small groups. We share our lives and reflect on questions from several books on a variety of topics related to aging and eldering. There is a hunger for people, including myself, to connect with and support one another on the aging journey. Then, after reading Conscious Living, Conscious Aging I knew I was ripe to attend a Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreat at Ghost Ranch in New Mexico in May, 2023.

My overriding intention for the retreat was to let go of the midlife stage of my life, including a career as a teaching tennis pro, to embrace wholeheartedly the life of becoming a conscious elder. Near the end of the retreat, we were given the opportunity to begin envisioning our ideal elderhood and identify intentions that support that vision.

Some of what emerged during that guided meditation and the subsequent period of reflection while on the land, were several intentions I was already living out as part of the rhythm of my life. These include a centering prayer practice, reading sacred literature, journaling, recording and reflecting on my night time dreams, wandering in nature, painting watercolors, and cultivating deeper relationships with my family, including two young grandchildren, and my friends. And central to my life has been my lifelong commitment to pursuing racial reconciliation and anti-racism work in partnership with an interfaith coalition in Illinois, where I live.

Other intentions which I realized were stirring in me and now seeking expression fell into the category of exploring within the next 12 months future possibilities that had been on my inner radar screen. These include a spiritual direction/companioning business, facilitating a weekend conscious eldering retreat in the Chicago-land area, and offering a conscious eldering class at the local senior center.

Following the retreat, I have had the opportunity to reflect more deeply on my intentions and why they are so important to me. What resonates deep within me is the need to build an intentional life as a conscious elder that flows from my core values. In my early 30s, I was drawn to a nine-month program to live the Benedictine rule, with an emphasis on living and learning in community, silence, solitude, prayer, learning, growth, and compassionate service. This transformative, life-giving rhythm helped shape a spiritual foundation that continues to nourish and enliven me today, and is central to the intentions that help ground me, nurture me toward wholeness, and are a catalyst for my soulful engagement in the world.

The words of Howard Thurman, the theologian and mystic, have been important to me. He wrote, “There is something in every one of you that waits for the sound of the genuine in yourself, and if you cannot hear it, you will never find what you have been searching for.” From that soulful place of listening to the sound to what is genuine in my life, my intention is to glean wisdom from my past experiences, pay attention to what is unfolding in my life, and seek to intentionally live my soul’s mission. I have trust that I am being guided by the Holy Spirit as I move toward my life’s completion.

This trust was greatly strengthened several years ago, when I had an epic dream, perhaps symbolic of a shift in energy into my emerging elderhood. I am standing on the shore of a river and invited by an old man (who seemed to be an inner wisdom figure or sage) to come onto his boat. I sit behind him as he steers the boat down the calm river. I notice on the hillsides homes that are framed but not finished. The boat now comes to an opening into a large body of water, and I notice a stirring in the water at the mouth of the river. I experience a feeling of spaciousness and curious expectation.

I am learning to trust the inner sage of myself to guide me down the gently flowing river…a deepening surrender to my soul’s slow ripening. I feel an invitation to simply enjoy and delight in the journey. I think the unframed houses may represent unlived or unhealed parts of myself beckoning me to grow into my true elder self. I am compelled to pay radical attention to the stirrings of my soul as I courageously face my fears and vulnerabilities and venture out on uncharted waters.

I brought to the Conscious Eldering retreat a small weaving I created in sixth grade. I placed it on the altar we created at the beginning of our time together. I did not realize at the time the powerful symbolic impact the weaving’s expanded meaning would have: The intentions I embrace represent a tapestry woven into a harmonious whole in concert with other conscious elders seeking to use their gifts to bring hope, healing and love to the world.

Steve Heaviland, whose background includes being a teaching tennis pro and following a lifelong commitment to pursuing racial reconciliation, can be reached at sheaviland1@gmail.com