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 by Anne Wennhold

I began entering what I consider the elder years of my life at about 83 or 84 years of age. It was around that time I felt a new awareness permeate my being. It seemed there was a subtle shift in energy as delicate yet as momentous as a turn of the tide when there is no outward evidence of change. Instinctively, I knew this was not a medical issue.

Malcom Gladwell wrote a book called The Tipping Point in which he details how situations can add up so incrementally as to be almost unnoticeable until they get past the point of no return. As far as my elderhood goes, the Tipping Point was when I realized the focus of my life had turned from the outer to the inner life. Not an easy part of the journey. It’s generally agreed that Elderhood begins at retirement, about 70 years of age. Not in my book!

The 70’s and early 80s were the best and most active years of my life! Newly released from work that was never my career choice, I dove into the delight of doing things I loved, especially of facilitating workshops and therapy groups.

During that time, I worked with Ron Pevny in the Choosing Conscious Elderhood Retreats learning about specific inner practices that are life enhancing to all age groups and of particular help in the later aging processes. The tools include examining our years in life review, appreciating the best ones, identifying our regrets, learning to let go, to forgive, and defining and acknowledging our legacy for now and in the future.

Combining these with meditation, ceremony, and celebration of nature’s flow of seasons. I savored the way this combination of elements provided an underlying purpose for the continued inner growth that was a lifelong goal of mine.

So, in gradual compliance with the inner signal for change, and rather like a large passenger liner slowing to align itself with the dock ahead, the momentum of my fulfilling outer lifestyle began to alter its course.

Physical changes came first, incrementally narrowing the scope of outer life. Arthritis was hardly a ripple on the early tidal switch. It crept into my knees rendering them unreliable at odd moments. Then neuropathy and hip operation changes added their vibrational energies until there came a day I could not manage well without a cane which I wanted desperately to ignore. Its presence signaled a demeaning assault on my independence!

Then macular degeneration, a family legacy, made its appearance, and forbade driving at night. And did I tell you about the hearing aids? They help but only in smaller group situations.

However, as the Tipping Point of doors to the active outer world shut down behind me, it came time to move to an apartment with an elevator and inside parking. A change of environment was in order.

The new apartment is not the place of my dreams. It is in a good location and is perfect for my physical needs. In reality it is a nice place but I have not yet made friends with it. I miss my old home with its windows framing the sunshine, the moonrise, and trees changing colors each season.

Then there are the social changes of aging which continue to narrow my outer world. Recently the years’ long group of 7 friends fell apart as one by one they died or moved away to be near their children.

The gradual loss of the customary meetings and reassurance of my value to this circle of friends, now gone, leaves me bereft. I am lonely and at times long for a hug from one of those who knew me well. It’s hard to make new friends when distance and energy are limiting factors for others as well as yourself.

By now the Tipping Point has docked, its ropes carefully but firmly looped about the stanchions on shore. The focus of my aging life has completed it turn from focus on the outer life to concentration on the inner.

Body maintenance requires much time but is clearly necessary to survival. I resent the time it takes to get up and get dressed in the morning. Taking a shower has become a major event fraught with safety concerns. Careful attention accompanies any turns around the kitchen to avoid a sudden fall. And I am always planning ahead for a convenient bathroom.

I resent the onslaught of technology and its long tentacles sucking me into its maw. Once I sat in my car where nobody could hear me scream my rage at the relentless havoc with which automation was swallowing the world I knew.

Later I realized I was also furious about aging and feeling ‘left behind’ in so many ways: the travel, theater and museum outings which I so relished in earlier years, now require more energy to get there, let alone navigate being there, than is worth the effort.

A good day includes an interesting book and creative play with watercolors. A great day involves facilitating my growth-oriented discussion group or my writing group on Zoom. An excellent day is lunch with friends who have traveled some distance to get here.

Then there is the grey day when sitting by the window, the grief for loss of my younger self and her love of an active life flows with the rain.

By these admissions you will see that I have not yet achieved the honored summit of elderhood: a pinnacle titled Acceptance: which means that one has come to terms with the reality of what ‘is’ rather than what one would like it to be.

At 90 years of age, I’m working on that. During morning meditation. I light a candle and read from the poets or spiritual masters to seek their perspective on being a traveler in this complex world. Or I simply review my own up-coming challenges of the day and ask for spiritual assistance in living it.

But here’s one of the of the best parts of this journey into aging. I have found a new friend after all! Myself!

Suddenly I see that she is a stronger, more complex person than I gave her credit for being. I admit that it is somewhat of a time-consuming process to get to know her better for up to now I’ve mainly acknowledged the parts of her life I found acceptable while ignoring the habits and attitudes that irritate me.

However now that I take the time to sit with her and really listen as she reviews her life, I find I can help her uncover the sources of the regrets and the resources she has had to bring success to her past and future lives.

As we dialog together, we have become very close, deepening our relationship by consciously employing the tools and practices taught in our conscious eldering retreats.

Such ongoing work is like fitting puzzle pieces together to make a holographic image that is greater than the sum of its parts. It is sometimes a painful job. Ultimately though it is a most satisfactory experience.

And so it is that I feel I have successfully navigated what I call the Tipping Point of aging. As my outer life has narrowed, my inner life has expanded. And, as I work toward Acceptance, I find I have the welcome companionship of myself with myself on this journey.

For age is opportunity no less than youth itself, though in another dress. And as the evening twilight fades away, the sky is filled with stars invisible by day. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Anne Wennhold, Choosing Conscious Elderhood Guide Emeritus, co-led retreats for 20 years for the Center for Conscious Eldering. Anne is currently exploring and sharing with her Zoom groups the spiritual and navigational terrain of later elderhood. Her background with Shamanic Journey training and certification in Counseling support her work in the aging community. She is available for individual counseling. Anne can be reached at annewennhold@gmail.com

By Martina Breen

Many of us who have embraced conscious elderhood feel the weight of these times. We are living through an era of collapse and unravelling—a time when so much of what we once trusted is crumbling. The climate crisis, social upheaval, political instability, and collective grief weigh heavily on our hearts. We may feel powerless, disillusioned, anxious about the world we are leaving behind. Many elders today feel despair over the world their children and grandchildren are inheriting. There is grief for what has been lost, anger at the destruction, fear for the future. The threshold we are facing now is not just personal but global.

I come from Celtic ancestry and in the Celtic tradition, crisis was never seen as the end of the story. The Celts understood that destruction and renewal are woven together. 1 The old must break down so that something new may emerge. They believed that when something remains unspoken, unresolved, or unforgiven; it can haunt us and our descendants. This is why they had rites for reconciliation, so that no soul would cross a threshold burdened by unfinished business. These included The Anamchairde (Soul Friend) Confession & Reconciliation, partaking in threshold rituals during the 8 festivals on the Celtic Calendar.2

So, reflecting on this; what if part of our task as elders is not to fix everything, but to become carriers of wisdom and peace? What if, we as elders, are called not to despair but to turn inward, to find meaning in the midst of collapse, and to take up the work of inner transformation. Turning inward does not mean disengaging from the world. On the contrary, when we do our own inner work, we become a source of steadiness for others. We learn to respond rather than react, to bring wisdom rather than more fear. This is how elders have always guided their communities through crisis—not by fixing everything, but by being a presence of depth and perspective3 .

And, at the heart of this inner work is Forgiveness. The work of forgiveness—of making peace within ourselves—allows us to stand as steady presences in a world of uncertainty. Forgiveness is not about denying pain, but about choosing to respond from a place of depth rather than fear. I feel it’s always important to reiterate that ‘to forgive is not to excuse or forget harm done’, whether personally or collectively, but rather to release the hold that resentment and pain have over us, allowing space for healing, accountability, and transformation. How relevant is this inner work to us at this time in the world! Today we are being called to stand as wisdom keepers in a world longing for guidance, to hold steady in a time of collapse.

One way of engaging with forgiveness in our lives is through ritual. The Death Lodge is a sacred space where we invite the people of our lives—both living and dead, loved ones and those with whom we have unfinished business—into an imaginal conversation. Rooted in indigenous traditions and echoed in Celtic rites of passage4, the Death Lodge is not about physical death but rather the death of the old self, allowing for renewal and transformation. It is a ritual where we enter into a place of truth-telling, where nothing remains unsaid.

During my own Death Lodge experience at Ghost Ranch, I entered into imaginal conversations with those I needed to make peace with—asking for forgiveness, offering it in return, and speaking the words that had remained unspoken. It was a profound experience and what struck me most was how real and complete the work felt within the Death Lodge itself, as if something had truly shifted in the unseen realm. In the days and weeks that followed, this sense of resolution was affirmed. I witnessed its effects unfolding in my actual relationships—encounters softened, long-held tensions eased, and unexpected moments of reconciliation emerged.

This experience affirmed for me what many wisdom traditions have long understood: when we do the inner work, we are not just shifting our personal consciousness—we are impacting the quantum field itself. Forgiveness is not only an internal process; it ripples outward, creating real and tangible shifts in the world around us. In this time of unravelling, when so much feels broken and beyond our control, this truth is more vital than ever. The healing we seek in the outer world begins within.

I believe, in this time of unravelling, we are being invited into a collective death lodge. The world as we knew it is dissolving. We cannot cling to what is falling away. But we can do the inner work of reconciliation, healing, and deep listening; to develop the ability to forgive—to mend what can be mended and to bless what cannot.

If we are to stand as elders in this time, we must make peace with our own life—not by pretending all is well, but by engaging in the sacred work of accepting life as it is today on today’s terms. We need to engage in the sacred work of forgiveness, of blessing, of releasing fear and stepping into wisdom. The world does not need more elders weighed down by despair. We need to release fear, embrace wisdom, and live from a place of deep presence.

The world does not need more elders weighed down by despair. It needs elders who, even in the midst of uncertainty, can stand at the threshold with open hands—offering guidance, blessing, and hope.

I end with a Celtic Blessing:

“May we step into this calling.
May we walk with courage.
And may we bless the road ahead.”

Martina lives in Ireland and is a mother and grandmother. In addition to co-leading Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreats in Ireland with Ron Pevny, she is a certified Gestalt Psychotherapist and Spiritual Companion along with being a certified Sage-ing Leader with Sage-ing. International. She is currently doing a year-long intensive training on Forgiveness. with the Path of Forgiveness organization. Martina can be reached at martinasbreen@gmail.com.

1 John O’Donohue has many books on the wisdom of Celtic Spirituality. His first one, Anam Cara is a gem. O’Donohue, J. (1997). Anam cara: A book of Celtic wisdom. HarperCollins.

2 Read more on this: Ó Duinn, Seán. (2000). The Rites of Brigid: Goddess & Saint. Columba Press.

3 Parker J. Palmer. (2018). On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, and Getting Old 

4 There are many writers on the Celtic Rites of Passage and Ritual. One good place to start is Matthews, John & Caitlín. (1995). The Encyclopaedia of Celtic Wisdom: A Celtic Shaman’s Sourcebook. Element Books.

New edition now available

The new, expanded and updated edition of Ron Pevny’s book, Conscious Living, Conscious Aging is now available through Beyond Words Publishing, Bookshop.org, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or request your copy from your local bookstore.

Conscious Living, Conscious Aging is an inspiring guide to the next chapter of your life. We’re living longer, healthier lives than ever before, and this book helps you to make the most of these new opportunities.

A new edition for 2024 updates the wise words for a new landscape.

Reviews

“Ron Pevny’s book Conscious Living, Conscious Aging is a unique and valuable resource for those seeking purpose, service, and continual growth in the later chapters of their lives. Its uniqueness lies in its weaving together of Sage-ing and other conscious aging practices, deep wisdom about life transitions and rites of passage, and inspiring stories from those who have chosen to engage in this inner work, all with the goal of supporting the development of the conscious elders our world urgently needs.” — Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, co-author of From Age-ing to Sage-ing

“Ron Pevny’s spot-on wisdom on the elegance of aging is spiritually relevant and deeply useful. His is an inspiring voice for living in greater mindfulness within each present moment.” — Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Life Visioning

“Conscious Living, Conscious Aging fills a conspicuous gap in the literature concerning positive aspects of growing older…The book is well-documented, clearly written, and insightful.” — Robert C. Atchley, PhD, author of Spirituality and Aging

“Ron Pevny’s book Conscious Living, Conscious Aging is a gem of a book that I would recommend to every self-reflective person at or beyond mid-life. It will entice you on a journey of inner growth that makes the elder years richer and more satisfying and vital than most people can imagine. It could change the paradigm of aging and how elders can reclaim their traditional social roles as wise stewards and mentors. Ron brings to the book the wisdom of his great experience, both personal and from leading ‘Choosing Conscious Elderhood’ retreats and other nature-based programs (full disclosure: I participated in one recently). Each chapter takes up one of the issues we need to confront and work through to be conscious elders––for example, healing and releasing the past through reframing our stories , healing relationships, forgiving ourselves and others, and letting go of outworn identities; facing our mortality; building legacy, and balancing serving and savoring. Each chapter ends with an illustrative “story by the fire”; one of the most compelling for me was ‘From Grief to Gratitude in the Death Lodge,’ about a mother’s healing from her daughter’s suicide several years previously. Resources and exercises are appended. The writing is elegant and lucid, and yet at the same time it’s as though you are having a conversation with Ron around a campfire. I’m gifting this book to friends for the holidays.” –Meg Newhouse

“Prophetic wisdom!!! This book should be required reading for all who turn 50! The author’s writing is a culmination of sages across all time lines and cultures. The book is definitely most beneficial when it is used in a circle — in other words, when you put the words into action — for the purposes of personal reflection, support, and affirmation. When you engage the book on this level, you reap a treasure trove of gifts.” –Jivana

“Our youth oriented society truly needs this book. Those of us who are already elders and those approaching elder hood need the encouragement and clear message of what can be accomplished, no matter your “old” age. It is all about Choice, folks. This writing defines it beautifully.” –Kathleen Guest

by John Sorenson

“Houston, we have a problem!” This was the message from three astronauts 52 years ago, as their spacecraft had a life-threatening design failure on its way to the Moon. I was a member of the Apollo engineering team that responded to that call for help. Today, within Elders Action Network (EAN), other concerned elders and I are urgently confronting national issues that include (a) life-threatening climate chaos; (b) growing economic disparity between the richest few and the lower 99%; and (c) democracy-threatening voter suppression and intimidation. These are truly Texas-size problems with cries for help from our younger generations. The following is a brief description of my improbable journey and transition from rocket scientist to one of elder activism, again answering calls for help. 

I was fortunate to have had a fulfilling career as an aerospace engineer, project manager, and business entrepreneur spanning 40+ years. In 2005 it was my time to move on. I was not ready to “retire”, but to do something different, not knowing what that would be. I began my search, realizing vaguely that I wanted to give back for the bountiful life that I had been given. 

To gain clarity and direction as well as to heal old psychic wounds, I went on a series of personal growth retreats. It was the right preliminary action for me to take, for in so doing I developed levels of forgiveness and compassion I previously didn’t have, and I regained my youthful spirit.

One retreat was a long weekend led by Ron Pevny who introduced our group to “conscious elderhood.” During the event, Ron mentioned Theodore Roszak’s book The Making of an Elder Culture. Its message was that young, rebellious men and women of the sixties and seventies had the right ideals about American society being more just and equitable. However, they did not succeed in pursuing those ideals because they had no elders to guide them. Those young have become us old seekers, we have not lost our idealism, and we benefit by having gained some elder wisdom in the intervening years. We could now claim some semblance of elderhood and harness that idealism to transition to a new American reality. But only if we have the heart and will to take it on.  

That message struck a chord. I had done a lot of complaining over the years about the dysfunction of our government and society, why so little meaningful legislation got enacted, and what did get done was often counter to achieving “a more perfect union.” I needed to quit complaining and to do something about it. This would require re-inventing myself, transitioning from being a left-brained engineer, to using more right-brain imagination and heartfelt response to what would come.    

Another retreat was an Animus Valley Institute vision quest in summer 2011. During my solo time, I received the message, “teach leadership.” I interpreted it to mean that I was to demonstrate leadership by guiding a group to take on America’s societal issues.  I had understood that whatever we decided to do would not be small and it would be working with elders. But I was stymied by the enormity of what I was imagining – how could I, with little background in organizational development or this kind of leadership, proceed? I decided to go on another vision quest the following summer.

By pure synchronicity, in December 2012, Charles Lawrence, the very wise co-leader of that second quest was on a project near where I lived. Charles called me asking if I would like to have lunch with him. I jumped at the chance for I needed to relate my still present indecision dilemma and ask for his advice. Charles listened, said I needed to ask a small group of like-minded elders to join and help me see the way forward, that with them, we would form a circle with me in the middle, and Charles would facilitate the process.

I was, throughout this, operating on intuition. I called Ron Pevny, asking if he had colleagues who could help, which he did. By asking others, the following March 2013 six men and six women met to form that circle at a monastery on the Hudson River. Those included my wife Sue, Ron, Charles facilitating, and me asking for help.  It was for all of us an emotional gathering, and from it I got the clear direction I was looking for: Yes, we should begin a movement of elders to boldly take on our society’s serious problems, it would have a spiritual base, I should take the lead in forming it, and those in the circle would back me in the process.  

The following year I sought other elders who would resonate with this vision and would consider being included in forming the response.  Most were not interested, but I was not dissuaded. The result was that in April, 2014, 47 of us, including nine from the Hudson River circle, met at Mercy Center, a convent in Burlingame, CA. We were there, as fellow co-founders, to begin a movement of elders to transition our society to one that is more just, caring, equitable, and in service to life prospering for all future generations. We had a common vision, it would have a spiritual base, but we had few details to what and how it would unfold.

During our gathering, a participant Paul Severance came to me suggesting that we should take on climate change, as that was now seen as a growing threat to humans and all life. He suggested that we go to Washington DC, meet with Members of Congress, express our concerns about the changing climate, and urge them to act. I agreed, and Paul, who was a veteran community organizer, quickly formed what has grown to be known as our “Elders Climate Action” (ECA) group. In September 2015, 85 of us went on our first of several subsequent trips to DC and met with Congress.

Over the seven years since then, we have strived to be “sacred activists” committed to growing in our inner consciousness while taking on one or more forms of outer activism. In our evolution, we adopted the name “Elders Action Network” and the mission “To build a movement of elders to confront the social, environmental and governance issues of our time.” To the ECA action group we have added three others – social justice, regenerative living, and sound democracy. EAN has flourished as a virtual organization reaching well over 20,000 elders nationwide. Each year our activism projects expand, while understanding we still have a long way to go.

I currently serve as co-leader of EAN’s Elders for Sound Democracy action group, which includes forming the Texas elders’ voting rights team. It’s our response to misguided politicians that are intent on replacing our still evolving democracy with a white-supremacist-led autocracy.  

Yes, Houston, we again have another big problem, but we counter with an intrepid group of elders willing to face this and many other societal issues. We strive for the good of our grandchildren and all future generations, and in so doing realize our destiny as being activated elders and good ancestors.  For more information, please check our website www.eldersaction.org

John Sorensen is EAN’s founder. As a youth he heard the aerospace call and followed it for 45 years of engineering design and entrepreneurial experiences. In 2005 John heard another, deeper calling – time to re-invent and dedicate himself to humanitarian service. He uses earlier experiences to fulfill that calling as an elder strategist for social / environmental justice and sound governance. He can be reached at jasoren10@gmail.com

by Steve Heaviland

In September, 2023 the associate pastor of my church and I started a “Sages and Souls” class, meeting every other week in small groups. We share our lives and reflect on questions from several books on a variety of topics related to aging and eldering. There is a hunger for people, including myself, to connect with and support one another on the aging journey. Then, after reading Conscious Living, Conscious Aging I knew I was ripe to attend a Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreat at Ghost Ranch in New Mexico in May, 2023.

My overriding intention for the retreat was to let go of the midlife stage of my life, including a career as a teaching tennis pro, to embrace wholeheartedly the life of becoming a conscious elder. Near the end of the retreat, we were given the opportunity to begin envisioning our ideal elderhood and identify intentions that support that vision.

Some of what emerged during that guided meditation and the subsequent period of reflection while on the land, were several intentions I was already living out as part of the rhythm of my life. These include a centering prayer practice, reading sacred literature, journaling, recording and reflecting on my night time dreams, wandering in nature, painting watercolors, and cultivating deeper relationships with my family, including two young grandchildren, and my friends. And central to my life has been my lifelong commitment to pursuing racial reconciliation and anti-racism work in partnership with an interfaith coalition in Illinois, where I live.

Other intentions which I realized were stirring in me and now seeking expression fell into the category of exploring within the next 12 months future possibilities that had been on my inner radar screen. These include a spiritual direction/companioning business, facilitating a weekend conscious eldering retreat in the Chicago-land area, and offering a conscious eldering class at the local senior center.

Following the retreat, I have had the opportunity to reflect more deeply on my intentions and why they are so important to me. What resonates deep within me is the need to build an intentional life as a conscious elder that flows from my core values. In my early 30s, I was drawn to a nine-month program to live the Benedictine rule, with an emphasis on living and learning in community, silence, solitude, prayer, learning, growth, and compassionate service. This transformative, life-giving rhythm helped shape a spiritual foundation that continues to nourish and enliven me today, and is central to the intentions that help ground me, nurture me toward wholeness, and are a catalyst for my soulful engagement in the world.

The words of Howard Thurman, the theologian and mystic, have been important to me. He wrote, “There is something in every one of you that waits for the sound of the genuine in yourself, and if you cannot hear it, you will never find what you have been searching for.” From that soulful place of listening to the sound to what is genuine in my life, my intention is to glean wisdom from my past experiences, pay attention to what is unfolding in my life, and seek to intentionally live my soul’s mission. I have trust that I am being guided by the Holy Spirit as I move toward my life’s completion.

This trust was greatly strengthened several years ago, when I had an epic dream, perhaps symbolic of a shift in energy into my emerging elderhood. I am standing on the shore of a river and invited by an old man (who seemed to be an inner wisdom figure or sage) to come onto his boat. I sit behind him as he steers the boat down the calm river. I notice on the hillsides homes that are framed but not finished. The boat now comes to an opening into a large body of water, and I notice a stirring in the water at the mouth of the river. I experience a feeling of spaciousness and curious expectation.

I am learning to trust the inner sage of myself to guide me down the gently flowing river…a deepening surrender to my soul’s slow ripening. I feel an invitation to simply enjoy and delight in the journey. I think the unframed houses may represent unlived or unhealed parts of myself beckoning me to grow into my true elder self. I am compelled to pay radical attention to the stirrings of my soul as I courageously face my fears and vulnerabilities and venture out on uncharted waters.

I brought to the Conscious Eldering retreat a small weaving I created in sixth grade. I placed it on the altar we created at the beginning of our time together. I did not realize at the time the powerful symbolic impact the weaving’s expanded meaning would have: The intentions I embrace represent a tapestry woven into a harmonious whole in concert with other conscious elders seeking to use their gifts to bring hope, healing and love to the world.

Steve Heaviland, whose background includes being a teaching tennis pro and following a lifelong commitment to pursuing racial reconciliation, can be reached at sheaviland1@gmail.com

By Anne Wennhold

!  

The Vermont sunshine blanketed me with its golden warmth as I climbed onto the sandy bank of the swimming hole. Glorious day! I shook my head flinging water drops into the still air. Reaching for the towel I saw a small transparent spiral curled up in the grass. As the rays of the sun touched its surface it brought out a translucent glow that revealed a small snakeskin perfect from head to tail. It must have belonged to a young garter snake completing its yearly growth. 

A message?

Alerted by my Native American teachers to be aware of information relayed from the universe through nature’s beings large and small, I wondered if this could be just such a notice. After all, I had just completed my first experience facilitating a Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreat! Something I had wanted to do ever since retiring and attending my first retreat several years ago.  Message or not, I decided to act as if the universe actually did send this snakeskin as confirmation of time to move into the work I desired. Carefully I wrapped the snakeskin up to take home and place on my altar.  

Message received!  

For the next eighteen years I was honored to facilitate retreats with Ron Pevny, director and creator of the Choosing Conscious Elderhood program. From Ron I learned about the micro management of time, place, content, process and, more importantly, the nuances of flow learned only in the act of doing: things never taught in the classroom or found in a book.  

And Magic happened!  Based on Ron’s carefully crafted framework, my own spiritual path was deepened and integrated even as I worked with nature, the spirits and human beings: actually because I got to work with them all!  Bringing my own spiritual tools of ritual and ceremony learned from Shamanic and Native American teachers and combining them with Ron’s spiritual format, we constructed an atmosphere of safety within which all participants could open their minds and hearts to the work at hand. 

One such ritual was to go outside early in the morning and drum a welcome to the sun as it rose over the mountains in New Mexico: a daily task  as satisfactory as greeting a loved one home after a long absence. 

After breakfast there was the ritual of drumming and lighting sage leaves, cleansing ourselves with their burning fragrance and inviting all supportive spirits to join us in our work for the day.  Rituals such as these are a repeated action or activity done to empower us and connect us to the spiritual dimension of life.

 Ceremony on the other hand tends to be a more specific celebration of one kind or another. For me, the Fire Ceremony is a bright/dark heat shaped by the Spirit of Fire leaping to the thunder of the beating drum and answering the call to be of assistance in transformation: always a mesmerizing event.   Often a fire ceremony is held to mark a time of ‘letting go’: a celebration of releasing something that no longer serves one’s life purpose.  That could be anything from an obsession with sweets, to a habit of judging others or a role that no longer fits. Opening to the nature of Fire can be cleansing, healing or an announcement of the completion of a time or a job.

In addition to gifts of nature and the spiritual helpers surrounding us, some of the best teachings I received through those years of spiritual feasting came from individuals who attended the retreats either alone, in couples or small groups: teachers, writers, healers and workers of all kinds, each intent on conscious growth as they aged.  We learned from each other’s stories of persistence, of doubt, illnesses, forgiveness, and strength and even as we witnessed each other’s truths, we were changed.  And we grew!

This last year as I retired from those mystical eighteen years as a facilitator in the CCE retreats, it was clear that it was time to let that work go. My body no longer had the energy or inclination for travel or managing weeklong events. Shortly after that retirement, while I was visiting with friends, I was asked to conduct a Fire Ceremony for them. Standing in the north, the place of the elders, of wisdom and transition, I realized I was there not just to conduct the ceremony for others as I had done for years, but that I now needed this Fire Ceremony to celebrate my own letting go of the work I loved.  As our drums sounded and the Spirit of Fire danced, I felt cocooned in a timeless peace. It stole over me like a benediction sealing the release of the past and slowly opening into the spaciousness of whatever was to come. 

Still later when I returned home and looked at the snakeskin lying on the altar, I saw it had disintegrated into minute particles lying, crystalline and sunlit, in the outline of the young snake it had clothed.

Message received!

I have spoken my Truth,

I have been witnessed and

I am forever changed.

Anne Wennhold is our conscious eldering guide emeritus, who for many years co-guided our retreats with Ron Pevny. She now runs support groups for older adults and facilitates online Memoir Writing, Drumming and other new courses.  Anne can be reached at annewennhold@gmail.com

Aiming High: Cultivating Purpose and Intentionality in Life’s Later Chapters is a highly experiential and interactive retreat for those who feel called to reach beyond their comfort zones and self inflicted limitations to look for opportunities that guide them to live into the life they want. Together we will explore and experience:

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Ghost Ranch is located in one of the most spectacular settings in the United States. It is the awe-inspiring former home of southwestern artist Georgia O’Keeffe. Here, in this stunning landscape, we offer the Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreat to help people in or approaching their senior years make this part of life the most emotionally and spiritually satisfying time.

Using reflective time in nature, life review and legacy work, ceremony, sharing councils, and a day-long solo, we focus on the major themes of conscious eldering: belief; release of old baggage; living with purpose and meaning; community; and spiritual deepening. Empowered by strong supportive community, skilled guidance, and the heart opening power of the natural world, you will have an opportunity to let go of old beliefs, attachments, and attitudes that no longer serve you, and to get in touch with expanded vision for, and commitment to, your potential as a conscious elder.

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