Category: Pevny-article

Many of you reading this know that what makes Conscious Eldering distinctive is its emphasis on the journey into elderhood being an extended rite of passage from mid-life adulthood to the distinctive life stage that can be the pinnacle of our emotional and spiritual growth. The call to bring forth in our later life chapter the elder qualities that are imbedded in the human psyche is archetypal. Supporting the emergence of their elders is how cultures around the world throughout most of known human history have recognized and nurtured the wisdom and gifts that were vital to the wellbeing of communities and their elders.

Life’s major transitions were marked by initiatory processes, supported by the entire community, that Joseph Campbell and others called the Hero’s Journey. These initiations into emerging life stages, also called rites of passage, extended over a significant period of time, usually with a challenging multi-day individual ceremony in the natural world, somewhere in the middle of the process, empowering the transition.

These journeys of emotional and spiritual growth of the members of the community were deeply challenging and involved three dynamics that are as critical now as they have always been, although this process is much different in today’s world which has largely forgotten the natural process by which people grow throughout life.

Traditionally, those hearing their psyche’s inner call to initiation were supported by their community in letting go of outgrown aspects of their former sense of identity, comfort and status. At a certain point in this process they were required to leave the village to face daunting challenges that required tapping into heretofore unrealized strengths, wisdom and gifts. And then they returned to community as newborns into their new life stage, with commitment to learning how to bring changed, empowered selves to serve the greater good.

The period of time alone in nature away from the village is often what is referred to as the rite of passage, but in actuality a successful passage was defined by the entire three-dynamic process. The time alone living in-between an old sense of self and a new identity was designed to amplify and empower the unfolding transformation.

Traditionally, not every initiate was successful in their Hero’s Journey. If it were safe and easy, no real growth could happen. And today, in our vastly different world where there is little to no societal support for this journey, relatively few recognize the call and undertake the challenging work that true personal transformation requires.

But for those who do feel called to their Hero’s Journey into a conscious elderhood, I have a dream to share which can make a big difference in how you approach this initiation.

Way back in 1980 I was apprenticing with Steven Foster and Meredith Little, recognized as the “grandparents of the contemporary wilderness rite of passage”, to become a guide of such initiatory experiences. My apprenticeship included participating in four wilderness vision quests, with increasing responsibilities. These quests, in Death Valley, each involved three days and nights in solitude, fasting and facing the daunting outer and inner challenges that usually arise.

On my second quest, in the time leading up to the, solo, I was filled with trepidation. I felt inadequate to the task and opportunity ahead. I didn’t think I had the strength, wisdom or spiritual qualities to succeed in breaking through very old personal blocks and limitations so that I could receive the strength and spiritual connection needed to guide others on their rites of passage. I carried many disempowering inner images of how I should be able to live spiritually and heroically for three days and nights, and was very frightened of failing. Then the night before we all were to leave the little questing community to go alone into the desert, I had a dream that shook me to the core as it empowered me to own and embrace my calling with confidence in my own unique path to growth, gifts and authenticity. I awoke with a strong feeling that this dream was not only for me, but was also for all those whom I would guide through their own passages. Since then, I have shared this dream before the solo time on every vision quest I led or, for the past 20 years, on every Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreat I have guided.

I share it with you so that, whether you choose to experience a retreat or quest, or to do the inner work of initiation into elderhood without such ceremonial support, this dream can help you remember what your Hero’s Journey is truly about. Here is the most important dream of my life:

I am waking up from restless sleep knowing that a big, highly significant test awaits me that day. I am filled with feelings of inadequacy. It all feels too daunting. I tried my best but didn’t prepare well enough anyway. I have heard from people wiser than myself about the beautiful fruits of passing the test, but I fear there is no way I can succeed at this challenge that is so important to my future.

I manage to get up and slowly head to the test site. On my way, I see several people already leaving the test site, and I start berating myself for not even being able to get to the test on time. I finally make it to the door. I walk in and to my surprise am greeted by a short, elder Buddhist woman who radiates kindness and wisdom. I’m expecting her to give me a long, difficult test. But instead she hands me a single sheet of paper. On it there are only these seven words: Pray for the Welfare of All Beings.

I believe this message is the essence of conscious eldering, and the core practice of the inner work that leads to such an elderhood. It is the reason for undertaking this journey. It is the reason for making the counter-cultural decision to embrace the challenges, opportunities, inner work, growth, and call to serve community and planet that are the essence of elderhood. We choose elderhood, not just for ourselves, but so that our lives can be a living prayer for the welfare of all beings.

by Ron Pevny

“It’s 3:23 in the morning and I’m awake because my great great grandchildren won’t let me sleep. My great great grandchildren ask me in dreams ‘what did you do while the planet was plundered? What did you do while the earth was unraveling? Surely you did something when the seasons started failing? As mammals, reptiles and birds were all dying? Did you fill the streets with protest when democracy was stolen? What did you do once you knew?” Drew Dellinger in Hieroglyphic Stairway

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and then do it. What the world needs is people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman, mid-1900s social justice advocate and theologian

I find these two quotes very powerful, reflecting two facets of key questions that cannot be evaded by we older adults as we consider what our place is in the world in which we are spending the final chapters of our lives. Both of these are questions that appear to not be meaningful to the majority of older adults in today’s non-indigenous world, yet are the existential questions whose answers and non-answers are determining our individual and collective wellbeing.

We who are committed to having our later years and the many opportunities they afford us be our time, in our one precious life, to focus on our growth, our deepest passions, and our role as the elders future generations so urgently need, are indeed carrying such questions through our days and nights. Yes, we do want pleasures and reduction of responsibilities after “retirement” age. But we know in our hearts and souls that we have not been given the gift, unique in known human history, of long lives merely so that we may focus on ourselves, our pleasures, our security. We are seeking a paradigm for the later chapters of our life’s journey that provides meaning and purpose—that can help us come ALIVE as we age in an interdependent world. In these times of crisis, the gifts and energies and aliveness of all the generations have important roles to play in supporting the wellbeing of our planet home and the human family, now and when our great great grandchildren are striving to thrive on this earth. At the same time, as a result of our long lives and commitment to growth, we have elder gifts to contribute that most younger people have not yet developed.

Drew Dellinger’s poetry is a powerful admonition to wake up from society’s denial, numbness and glorification of individualism and seek ways to play the role, encoded in each of our psyches, of true elders concerned with, and acting for, the generations that are following us. However, the reality is that a great many of us are paralyzed by overwhelm at the magnitude of the seemingly countless problems and crises and the belief that nothing we do can make much of a difference. So, why not live for ourselves and devote our energies to finding what pleasures we can, since we can’t know or impact the future anyway.

Many of us don’t see ourselves as social or environmental activists, demonstrating or being politically active in support of the values we profess. If you do feel so called to this important role, check out the Elders Action Network which seeks to merge social action and personal growth. As you do so, keep in mind this basic tenet of conscious eldering: growth seldom happens in our comfort zones.

This leads me to Thurman’s words, the most powerful quote I know illuminating the essence of conscious eldering. His words respond to Dellinger’s question, “What did you do when you knew?” We don’t have to become activists, even though that may be what we are called to. But our wellbeing depends upon us identifying and doing what brings us ALIVE. From one direction, ever-increasing scientific research is showing that having meaning and purpose that is bigger than ourselves is critical to our physical and emotional aliveness, wellbeing and longevity. From another direction, the world’s Wisdom Traditions have long taught that our total wellbeing, including our spiritual aliveness, is strongly connected to our having a purpose larger than ourself. Purpose is intrinsically connected to our aliveness.

Purpose is what feeds the life force within us. Purpose is what helps us see that our individual contributions, however insignificant they may seem, are interconnected with a larger PURPOSE that flows through all of humanity and supports healing and transformation amid dark times. Our individual lights may seem small, but our collective small lights are powerful in dispelling darkness.

Many of us don’t know the difference between pleasure and exhilaration, and true aliveness, and coming to understand that difference is central to conscious eldering. For me, writing and guiding retreats, although certainly at times physically and emotionally challenging, brings me a sense of satisfaction and aliveness that far surpasses temporary pleasures. That’s why I continue to do this work, while striving for the evolving balance conscious elders must find between serving and savoring, being and doing. Giving my gifts feeds my experience of wellbeing.

If there is a voice within you that says there is or must be some meaning in your life bigger than yourself, I encourage you to take time—lots of time perhaps—to reflect upon the quotes by Dellinger and Thurman. And to consider the possibility that the soul that came with you into this life carried with it qualities and gifts that define who you truly are and that your true wellbeing requires you to somehow give to the world in your elder years. And if you aren’t aware of ways you can shine your light, consider doing the following expliration, and then look for ways to use those qualities in support of your aliveness and your elder responsibility to shine your light in the darkness. And I again remind you that growth by definition requires stretching beyond our comfort zones.

• Commit to somehow growing and giving each day, and reflect on what experiences bring you most alive
• Engage in a life review in which you look at the arc of your life for qualities that you expressed when you felt the most alive or fulfilled, or felt like you were being your most authentic self.
• Ask several people who have known you for many years to describe what they see as your most important personal, or “signature” gifts”—the qualities that somehow inspire them and make you the unique person that you are. If you were to die today, what qualities would they most remember and value?
• Look at jobs you have had with an eye toward identifying positive personal qualities that you expressed that distinguished you from others with the same job description
• Write a eulogy for yourself in which you enumerate, not what you have done, but those life-enhancing qualities that have been yours throughout your life.

I close with another quotation, this time from the Indian sage Rabindranath Tagore:

I slept and dreamt that life was joy
I awoke and saw that life was service I acted and behold, service was joy.

The world needs the gifts of conscious elders. It needs us to aim high for a conscious elderhood I which we shine our light as brightly as we can. In doing so, we can let future generations know that we cared. And when the time comes for this precious life to end, we can leave carrying the deep satisfaction of knowing that we used our gift of longevity to fulfill our soul’s purpose and potential.

A parable recounted by Ron Pevny

Once upon a time—very much like these times, on a beautiful life-supporting planet—very much like ours—that world’s people found themselves in profound crisis. Many of them felt that their most cherished values were being brutally assaulted by unconscious people with great political power, and by great numbers of their fellow humans who were in thrall to the beliefs and consciousness of those leaders. And they saw the life-sustaining dynamics of their planet being in great danger from these leaders, but even more so from a way of thinking and relating to their planet home that seemed to work in their past but was clearly no longer an option. Many began to realize that their own habitual attitudes and behaviors were contributing to the multiple crises.

Whether they had such realizations or not, most of the residents of that planet found their lives in turmoil as the world they used to know seemed to be crumbling around them. Fear, depression, and hopelessness were constant companions of a great number of the people.

The time of crisis they were living in had long been foretold by the Wisdom Keepers of their indigenous cultures, and more recently by many wise people widely acknowledged as their contemporary visionaries. The central message shared by all of these was that a new chapter in human evolution on their planet was seeking to emerge. The people were told that that these were the times when a long envisioned leap forward in consciousness was possible, but that this could happen only as non-life supporting structures and ways of thinking and being were dismantled, at the individual and collective levels.

Their visionaries told them that the next stage in their evolution required that the old order was necessarily and painfully breaking down, with them having to experience what felt like the slow death of the world and way of living they had known—the kind of world in which many of them had previously envisioned doing their work of growth and service. Now, rather than seeing their inner work as something to ft into a familiar and fairly predictable life, they were being forced to up the ante.

Many of them who were the Elders or aspiring elders in their communities were coming to realize that they had an especially important role to play. That their commitments to modeling wholeness in their communities were urgently necessary for their personal and collective wellbeing, but even more so for a future in which their descendants could thrive in healthy communities on a healthy planet.

Many of the wisest among them were recognizing that their commitments to wholeness supported strong evolutionary energies seeking to manifest on their planet at a pivotal time when crisis was heralding the transformation that was very possible, but not assured. They were indeed perched on a knife edge between collapse and transformation, and their choices could make all the difference.

Their visionaries reminded them of the importance of trusting that these transformative energies guided and strengthened them as they did their part to contribute to a renewed world for the generations that would follow them. While in their world the darkness of resistance to transformation was becoming increasingly powerful, also extraordinarily powerful at that time were spiritual energies that supported their commitments to their growth and to the giving of their gifts in service to community and planet. The message was strong and unequivocal. They were evolution’s agents of transformation. Amid growing darkness, both the shining of their light and their reluctance to do the work of growth and service were more significant than ever.

If they were going to tip the scales toward a transformed humanity, their Elder gifts, growth and deepened consciousness were necessities. And gifts given from wholeness—in attunement to the voice of Spirit within them–were more much more powerful and effective than reactions and responses to crises that carried their unhealed energies.

Humanity on that planet was living in the portal between two worlds. They were in the midst of individual and collective rites of passage. As many of them navigated their individual passages between their former lives and the life of an Elder or Sage, at the same their time collective humanity was seeking to pass through this evolutionary portal. More and more of them were remembering what their Wisdom Traditions had known—that growth happens only in such portals. That to pass through they must allow themselves to fully experience all the dynamics that occur in the difficult yet necessary journeys from endings to new beginnings. Only in this way could their hearts and minds be fully open to the vision and compassion needed for true renewal. A butterfly emerges only after the caterpillar’s life seems to come to an end. Small tweaks don’t transform the caterpillar.

Their Wisdom Traditions taught that for passing through such portals, the support of community is absolutely necessary. Many of their people had Sacred Gatherings to experience the support of conscious community, as they explored the dynamics that they, and now we, will experience to some degree or other in the portal.

In sacred circles, on the one hand, they shared with each other about:
Endings…Grief…Loss…. .Anger…..Numbness…. Hope and Hopelessness…Loneliness and Need for Community….. Overwhelm with toxic news and images…… Confusion about what it means to be an Elder and even questioning what is the point in doing often difficult inner work.

But on the other hand they shared how they were also are experiencing Visions of what a conscious world can be…..How they were getting in touch with deep Desire to make a
difference….. How they were focusing on becoming aware of the many emerging projects, structures and ways of thinking that reflected the life supporting qualities of the world seeking to be born. How they were focusing on Envisioning a world in which all the generations dreamed, gave their gifts, and grew toward wholeness together.

And they reminded each other of one of the biggest gifts of the grief they experienced and the losses they mourned in their passage between their old and new worlds—the Gift of being increasingly and acutely aware of what they hold most sacred and valuable and of their deep commitment to working to create a healed world that reflects these sacred qualities..

I don’t know how their story ended. That page is missing from the record. And I don’t know how ours will end. It is likely that none of us reading this will be alive to see that ending. But our descendants will be. They need us to shine our lights now more than ever. They need us to do the inner work of growth, to give the gifts our souls know are ours to give in these times, and to stand up for what is truly life-supporting in our current world as we pass through the Portal between today’s chaos and a more conscious world. They need us to become today’s Elders, and for our descendants, Ancestors who cared.

by Ron Pevny

During our recent May Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreat at Ghost Ranch, one of the participants, who is a professional astrologer, told us about the astrological forces that will be strongly influencing humanity in the next several months. I don’t know enough about astrology to accurately write about the particular planetary alignments and influences that are and will be in play. But since much of what she shared is so obviously reflective of what we are seeing in the world around us, I would like to share with you my reaction to her presentation.

Sally told us that a cycle of darkness will be reaching its peak this Fall, or, to put it another way, we will be hitting maximum darkness, or rock bottom, which is a necessary prelude for a powerful, unexpectedly fast-evolving Aquarian energy of hope, creativity and transformation to emerge. We must endure this darkness and hold on to hope and to a positive vision for what can emerge and how we can contribute to that emergence, no matter how dark it gets.

We are truly deep into a collective hero’s journey, having great difficulty seeing the many glimmers of light that shine in our world but are overshadowed by the darkness. There is great fear around the world about the polarization sweeping our planet and the rise of autocratic leaders in many countries. The future of democracy is gravely threatened in the U. S. and many other countries. It is so very easy to become addicted to feeding ourselves toxic, fear-inducing, spirit-crushing news each day, and to allow this darkness to sap our hope and our trust that we can make a difference.

I believe our task as we seek to grow into the fullness of elderhood is to not allow the energies of the trials we are facing, individually and collectively, to disempower us. To begin each day with a commitment to growing and serving, because that is what our growth and integrity ask of us, whether world news is encouraging or not. To seek out and feed ourselves positive images of the rays of light shining in our world, and of the soul gifts we were born to give to the world at this time. To find strength and inspiration in community with kindred spirits. To do what brings us truly alive and not allow ourselves to go numb as we face the demons that throughout history have assailed those courageous enough to undergo the hero’s journey.

Our role as elders, as it has been throughout history, is to model for the younger generations the courage it takes to hold on to our vision and personal power when the forces of unconsciousness seek to gain ascendence. If not us, who will serve for them as beacons of hope amid the darkness?

I believe humanity, and the U.S., are perched on a knife edge between collapse and transformation. I hope and pray that astrological predictions are correct, and that a powerful force for transformation is almost ready to emerge and support us all as we contribute our light to a brilliant, transformative collective beacon. Most of the world’s visionaries tell us that we must work to support the forces of transformation. A positive future is not assured. There will be many times when we cannot see the comforting light through the darkness.

What I do know is that, as a human being committed to my growth and the wellbeing of this world, I WILL do whatever I can to shine my light. If great numbers of us elders make this same commitment, in our lifetimes we may see that we have played a critical role in bequeathing a brighter future to our descendants.

Report #1 from the Front Lines

“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”– Leonard Cohen

For quite a while I have felt stuck. I saw myself doing the same things, in the same way. I had trouble seeing any growth happening. I felt that what I had to share with others, while meaningful, was not coming from a place of my own ongoing growth. I often offered the prayer, “please give me experiences that will catalyze new growth in me and help me draw from a deeper well in my teaching role.”

The old adage has certainly proven true for me, the one that warns us to be careful what we ask for, for we may get it in unexpected ways. My prayer was answered on August 18th, when I went to the hospital for a common heart valve replacement in which a new aortic valve is threaded through a vein to the heart. Very non-invasive, with recipients returning home the same day.

I returned home 8 days later, after emergency open heart surgery because a one-in-a-thousand event occurred, and I came close to dying. For a person like me who thrives on physical fitness and outdoor activity, this turn of events has thrust me, teacher of transitions, into my own powerful, life changing transition. I am weak, although getting stronger each day, and recovery will take a long time. My prayer was certainly answered.

From my first conscious moments in the hospital upon getting off the ventilator, I found myself thinking of the Leonard Cohen quote, of the teachings and poetry that have meant so much to me and to my work, and of Elizabeth Lesser’s profound book, Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow. And I often offered the prayer, “now that I have been cracked open ( metaphorically and physically), please let long-sought-after inner light shine through, giving me the clarity and new vision my heart so desires.”

Major life transitions usually are a process of indeterminent duration. They can’t be rushed to fit the schedule our minds might desire. And most of the time the fruits of transition require time to become apparent. So I feel I am only beginning to understand what this crisis induced transition will mean in my life. However, I am aware of three significant learnings, and trust more will follow. Here they are:

• I have never been able to fully acknowledge that many people love me, appreciate me, have been deeply touched by my work, and pray for my well being. The outpouring of caring through this health crisis has opened my heart to myself and the value of the work I have long been called to.
• Having a strong sense of purpose is vital to my well being. Being able to do my work (such as creating this newsletter) in a measured way, greatly strengthens my life force and is the most healing thing I can be doing. People advise me to rest. Fulfilling my sense of purpose, without straining myself, is the most renewing thing I can be doing. I understand more than ever the research and spiritual traditions that speak to the importance of purpose for health of body, mind and spirit.
• People remark about an equanimity I am bringing to this challenging time. Yes, there is some fear, some anger, some emotional distress. But there is much less of these than before I committed to the inner work that is so important to me and to those I am privileged to teach on the path of conscious eldering. The lesson in this is that being able to bring trust and equanimity to life transitions is the result of doing inner work well before we consider ourselves old. In the midst of crisis, it feels like all we can do to just get through each day. We need to focus on transforming ourselves over time so that when crisis comes, we are inwardly prepared to bring to it trust, strength, and strong life force unimpeded by old, disempowering inner baggage.

We experience most major transitions as crises. That’s how it feels when well established ways of viewing ourselves and of living our lives are upended. We are cracked open, our egos are broken open. This seems to be necessary for the light of our inner essence to shine through, giving us glimpses of what we are called to and who we can be in the next chapters of our lives. With trust I open myself to this light.

by Ron Pevny

If you are reading these words, you likely are a person for whom the fulfillment of your potential in your later life chapters is a priority. You are someone who feels in your heart that your aging can be a journey of ripening—of reaching the pinnacle of your lifelong quest for emotional and spiritual growth—and grounded in that growth, finding the fulfillment that comes from serving the human and earth community as an elder.

You are well aware—painfully aware—that the mainstream culture in which your life is imbedded does not share this vision of the rich possibilities of elderhood. The cultural understanding of the critical value of true elders has largely been lost in most contemporary societies. This has left the vast numbers of us in our 60s, 70s, 80s and older without life-affirming paradigms to inspire, guide and motivate us to do the inner work of bringing forth those personal qualities that naturally seek to emerge as we transition inwardly from mid-life adulthood into that stage in our life’s journey of growth called elderhood.

Beyond the realities of ageism in the work world and the many demeaning stereotypes of older adults, an equally disempowering paradigm tells us that our aging should be a time when our priorities shift from our growth and our contribution of our talents and skills to the community, to having our primary motivations be our pleasure and security. This latter paradigm is rooted in the reality that emotional and spiritual growth throughout the human lifespan, including the elder years, are not understood, valued, fostered, taught and modeled by the societies we live in and are shaped by.

Yet, positive change is afoot. Ageism is increasingly being seen as a blight on society and an assault on the human spirit. Positive Aging, Active Aging, Healthy Aging, Successful Aging and various other models are helping to empower older adults to claim their potential to passionately engage with life. Retirement is a concept that is in the process of being re-imagined. More and more frequently we hear words like “Re-firement” being used to affirm the potential for creativity, engagement and service after so called retirement age. The millions of baby boomers turning 65 each day around the world are beginning to see many things they can be doing and lifestyle choices they can be making that could not even be imagined by our parents.

We celebrate these positive models. However, they are inadequate by themselves and can even be disempowering if they blind us to recognition of the energies, growth, motivations, wisdom and service that characterize the Elder within each of us that seeks to emerge as we age. These models largely focus on “what we can do” as we age. Conscious Eldering focuses on the Elder you can be as you engage with life in your later chapters; on the personal inner work that can bring your passion alive, open your heart and mind, and strengthen your connection to Spirit and Soul; on the inner sources you draw upon as you make choices about how you can best be of service to the community; and on ways to help foster your resilience as you face the inevitable losses and griefs that are part of—but only part of—the incredible journey toward the fullness of elderhood.

Many of you reading this are just beginning your transition into elderhood. Others have consciously (or perhaps not so consciously) already begun to manifest the qualities of elderhood.  Elderhood is a stage of growth that some people achieve as they age, and is not equated with one’s activity level or state of health. Growth is an ongoing process, and  we all have the potential to grow until the day we pass from this life. You may already have developed various of the qualities of true elderhood, but true elders are always growing, knowing that elderhood is a commitment to, and process of, continual unfolding in whatever circumstances life presents us.

The longer lifespans and health advances that make these times unique in human history support this unfolding; support from kindred spirits (friends, teachers, models of aging consciously) who are committed to this vision is absolutely necessary support for this unfolding; the reality of our mortality and its attendant losses also supports this unfolding if we allow ourselves to let go of denial of these realities. A deep commitment to waking  with our priority each day being to somehow grow and serve is essential for bringing forth the Elder within.

Striving to hold on to the identities of previous life stages without allowing ourselves to gradually grow into elderhood precludes this unfolding.  Buying into the societal belief that the best we can hope for as we age is maximizing activity, pleasure and security precludes this unfolding. Allowing ourselves to live out of habit rather than intentionality leaves little room  for us to perceive and support this unfolding.

Many people reminded me, after reading the many diverse responses to my article in the last issue of this newsletter in which I wondered whether our work is indeed catalyzing a paradigm shift, that we cannot know at this point. I know that cultural tipping points cannot be predicted, but are built up-to and then happen seemingly overnight.  The one common message in these responses was that our work and that of kindred other organizations, teachers and mentors, is vitally important to many people who are committed to the ongoing, challenging work of creating a lifestyle that will slowly but surely bring forth those Elder qualities that are their birthright.

Are you one of those people?  If so, we look forward to continuing to offer you our support.

By Ron Pevny

In mid-July I will be participating in a panel discussion in which several of us who are seen as leaders in the “conscious aging movement” will be exploring with each other the state of our efforts in today’s culture to support people in growing into a conscious elderhood. We are meeting because we sense that the wind has diminished that is needed to fill the sails that propel this necessary cultural transformation. I’m writing this article for the “Conscious Eldering Inspiration and Resources” newsletter to ask for your perspective, which you will have an opportunity to share on the Center for Conscious Eldering website.

So, I’ll begin this article with a story. Once upon a time, not so very long ago, Ram Dass, Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, Joan Halifax, and several other highly regarded teachers presented several conferences at Omega Institute in which they articulated a vision for living life’s later chapters, which became known as “Conscious Aging.” This was, (and is) an empowering, life-affirming, spiritually grounded alternative to the dominant societal view of the post-retirement years as being primarily defined by disengagement from contribution to society, doing one’s best to ward off decline and diminishment, and focusing on maximizing pleasure and security.

Conscious Aging is predicated upon the understanding, shared by most cultures until the industrial revolution, of the potential of life’s later chapters to be the pinnacle of human emotional and spiritual growth, and a time of special service to the community which emerges from this growth. In the years since those seminal Omega retreats and Zalman Schachter-Shalomi’s groundbreaking book, From Age-ing to Sage-ing, many of us who have embraced this vision and felt called to share it through our writing, workshops and other venues have chosen to use the term “Conscious Eldering” in recognition of the fact that life’s later years offer the opportunity for people to emerge from mid-life adulthood into a culminating stage of personal development called “Elderhood.” Others favor the term “Conscious Aging,”

Materialistic contemporary societies have lost sight of the potentials and dynamics of the human psyche as we grow through life’s stages. We do not have spiritually and emotionally empowering rites of passage, and have little if any recognition of the inner work that our psyches require for us to grow from stage to stage—with each stage offering the opportunity for us to move closer to inner wholeness. Therefore, our culture offers those nearing “retirement age” no vision for the possibility of growth into elderhood. So the best the majority of us can hope for is to hold on for as long as possible to who we have been, be as secure as possible, and find as much enjoyment as we can (and can afford).

The last 20 or 30 years have seen the emergence of paradigms for aging which are empowering in some important ways, but sorely lacking in others. We are all familiar with terms like Positive Aging, Active Aging, Successful Aging, Refirement-rather-than- Retirement, etc. All of these approaches help to support aliveness and provide the opportunity to be seen as relevant, and to feel relevant) which is so critical as we age. But they generally lack recognition of the needs of our inner selves—our souls—for bringing forth the wholeness and wisdom of elderhood. With their focus on activity and “doing”, they do not recognize the importance of the inner journey of aging, of the necessary focus on the state of our “being” if we are to realize our potential for growth and fulfillment in our later life chapters.

So, with this context being set, the story continues:

In the year 2000, I knew that my decades-long calling to support people in moving through transition was leading me to focus on the life passage into elderhood. I was privileged to learn from many teachers who were models of what conscious aging/conscious eldering can be. And to witness the aspirations and challenges of those dedicated people who came to our workshops and retreats having responded to an inner call to grow into an elderhood they had a “knowing” was possible and important for them. I gave heart and soul to this work, but for many years it was a struggle to attract participants, with my work and that of my colleagues being largely a labor of love and commitment to a deep calling from our souls.

As I persisted, as did an increasing number of others who felt this same calling and shared their vision through their writing and workshops, the cultural milieu began to change. There was increasing interest in conscious aging. This fact, and a personal health crisis that forced me to acknowledge the importance to my wellbeing of making an unequivocal commitment to this work, resulted in my starting the Center for Conscious Eldering in 2010. I found the adage to be true that when one makes a total commitment, life offers unexpected support. Our workshops began to fill and workshop invitations increased significantly. I was invited to give keynotes at conferences on aging. Beyond Words Publishing called me in 2012 asking if I would write a book for them. I did, with my book being titled Conscious Living, Conscious Aging. The Shift Network in 2015 asked me to host their first three Summits on Conscious Aging, because they saw strong and growing interest in this subject. This gave me the opportunity to interview nearly 60 leaders working in a great many ways to empower older adults. They also asked me to present two online courses called “Transforming Your Journey of Aging.” And I was blessed with other wonderful opportunities.

I was so grateful that my work the work of many others in this field was thriving, and that it seemed conscious aging/conscious eldering was making inroads in modern culture. It seemed like our vision of a culture in which true elders play an honored and important role was attainable, slowly but surely, eventually.

And then, a year or two before the pandemic, I sensed a change in this momentum. The invitations to present were not coming. The Shift Network and other such spiritually oriented organizations that reach large numbers of people told me they would no longer present Summits on aging because other topics attracted greater numbers of registrants and generated more income. Their schedules of summits and courses, throughout the pandemic and as COVID eases, includes courses on all kinds of worthy personal growth topics which attract the large numbers of participants they need to be financially viable, but do not include conscious aging (or anything explicitly about aging). To my mind, their choices communicate the message that there is nothing unique about the challenges faced by, and the potentials that seek to be awakened in, the millions of people entering a distinctive stage of life that has distinctive synamics. Their choices imply that Meditation is meditation and the same for everyone. Dreamwork is dreamwork and the same for everyone. Shamanic practices are Shamanic practices and the same for everyone. Mysticism is mysticism and…….

Another example: In 2018 and 2019 I taught two modestly enrolled courses at Omega which were very well received. As much as I would like to return to Omega I no longer have that option because I am told other topics and more-famous teachers generate more enrollments and revenue.

And most recently, as Katia Petersen and I have attempted to find a publisher for our unique new book-in-the-making, The Art of Conscious Eldering: a 52-Week Personal Growth-Book for Aging with Passion and Purpose, Beyond Words and others have told us that they love our book and feel it makes an important contribution, but their research shows that conscious eldering/conscious aging is not a topic that will sell enough copies to warrant their publishing our book. They said the field is saturated with books on aging. When we asked them why they do not feel the same way about the innumerable books being published on Mindfulness, they did not have an answer.

So, that’s the story so far. Now here’s where I ask for your input. I assume you would not be on our email list if you did not resonate to some degree or other with the vision of conscious eldering. And you may well have a more accurate sense of societal culture at this moment than those of us working in the conscious aging field and being so emotionally and spiritually invested in it.

So, before I join the upcoming panel to explore the state of conscious aging, I ask for your feedback to the following questions. You can provide it on our website, www.centerforconsciouseldering.com, by clicking on the “Feedback” link at the end of this article which has been placed on the Home Page. You can also email me with input at ron@centerforconsciouseldering.com. Thank you for reading this article and sharing you feedback if that feels right to you.

• Do you think the conscious aging/conscious eldering movement indeed lost momentum in the past two or three of years? If so, why do you think this is happening?
• It has been suggested that factors such as the Trump presidency, the pandemic, climate change, Black Lives Matter and other social justice movements, have somehow shifted peoples’ energy and focus away from their growth in their elder years. Do you think this is so, and if so, why? Isn’t ageism and lack of awareness of the potentials of elder adults as insidious, life-draining, and disempowering as these other issues?
• Does the conscious aging movement need to find other ways of communicating about elderhood? If so, how should we do this, and do so in a way that doesn’t dilute our message?
• Am I (and others) having unnecessary concern about this? Should we just go on sharing our vision of conscious elderhood without concern with how many books we sell or summits we get invited to?
• Do you have any other input you would like us to take into consideration?

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! May we all choose to live our later chapters as the elders our world so urgently needs.