The Inner Work of Conscious Eldering: Forgiveness in a Time of Unravelling

By Martina Breen

Many of us who have embraced conscious elderhood feel the weight of these times. We are living through an era of collapse and unravelling—a time when so much of what we once trusted is crumbling. The climate crisis, social upheaval, political instability, and collective grief weigh heavily on our hearts. We may feel powerless, disillusioned, anxious about the world we are leaving behind. Many elders today feel despair over the world their children and grandchildren are inheriting. There is grief for what has been lost, anger at the destruction, fear for the future. The threshold we are facing now is not just personal but global.

I come from Celtic ancestry and in the Celtic tradition, crisis was never seen as the end of the story. The Celts understood that destruction and renewal are woven together. 1 The old must break down so that something new may emerge. They believed that when something remains unspoken, unresolved, or unforgiven; it can haunt us and our descendants. This is why they had rites for reconciliation, so that no soul would cross a threshold burdened by unfinished business. These included The Anamchairde (Soul Friend) Confession & Reconciliation, partaking in threshold rituals during the 8 festivals on the Celtic Calendar.2

So, reflecting on this; what if part of our task as elders is not to fix everything, but to become carriers of wisdom and peace? What if, we as elders, are called not to despair but to turn inward, to find meaning in the midst of collapse, and to take up the work of inner transformation. Turning inward does not mean disengaging from the world. On the contrary, when we do our own inner work, we become a source of steadiness for others. We learn to respond rather than react, to bring wisdom rather than more fear. This is how elders have always guided their communities through crisis—not by fixing everything, but by being a presence of depth and perspective3 .

And, at the heart of this inner work is Forgiveness. The work of forgiveness—of making peace within ourselves—allows us to stand as steady presences in a world of uncertainty. Forgiveness is not about denying pain, but about choosing to respond from a place of depth rather than fear. I feel it’s always important to reiterate that ‘to forgive is not to excuse or forget harm done’, whether personally or collectively, but rather to release the hold that resentment and pain have over us, allowing space for healing, accountability, and transformation. How relevant is this inner work to us at this time in the world! Today we are being called to stand as wisdom keepers in a world longing for guidance, to hold steady in a time of collapse.

One way of engaging with forgiveness in our lives is through ritual. The Death Lodge is a sacred space where we invite the people of our lives—both living and dead, loved ones and those with whom we have unfinished business—into an imaginal conversation. Rooted in indigenous traditions and echoed in Celtic rites of passage4, the Death Lodge is not about physical death but rather the death of the old self, allowing for renewal and transformation. It is a ritual where we enter into a place of truth-telling, where nothing remains unsaid.

During my own Death Lodge experience at Ghost Ranch, I entered into imaginal conversations with those I needed to make peace with—asking for forgiveness, offering it in return, and speaking the words that had remained unspoken. It was a profound experience and what struck me most was how real and complete the work felt within the Death Lodge itself, as if something had truly shifted in the unseen realm. In the days and weeks that followed, this sense of resolution was affirmed. I witnessed its effects unfolding in my actual relationships—encounters softened, long-held tensions eased, and unexpected moments of reconciliation emerged.

This experience affirmed for me what many wisdom traditions have long understood: when we do the inner work, we are not just shifting our personal consciousness—we are impacting the quantum field itself. Forgiveness is not only an internal process; it ripples outward, creating real and tangible shifts in the world around us. In this time of unravelling, when so much feels broken and beyond our control, this truth is more vital than ever. The healing we seek in the outer world begins within.

I believe, in this time of unravelling, we are being invited into a collective death lodge. The world as we knew it is dissolving. We cannot cling to what is falling away. But we can do the inner work of reconciliation, healing, and deep listening; to develop the ability to forgive—to mend what can be mended and to bless what cannot.

If we are to stand as elders in this time, we must make peace with our own life—not by pretending all is well, but by engaging in the sacred work of accepting life as it is today on today’s terms. We need to engage in the sacred work of forgiveness, of blessing, of releasing fear and stepping into wisdom. The world does not need more elders weighed down by despair. We need to release fear, embrace wisdom, and live from a place of deep presence.

The world does not need more elders weighed down by despair. It needs elders who, even in the midst of uncertainty, can stand at the threshold with open hands—offering guidance, blessing, and hope.

I end with a Celtic Blessing:

“May we step into this calling.
May we walk with courage.
And may we bless the road ahead.”

 

Martina lives in Ireland and is a mother and grandmother. In addition to co-leading Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreats in Ireland with Ron Pevny, she is a certified Gestalt Psychotherapist and Spiritual Companion along with being a certified Sage-ing Leader with Sage-ing. International. She is currently doing a year-long intensive training on Forgiveness. with the Path of Forgiveness organization. Martina can be reached at martinasbreen@gmail.com.

1 John O’Donohue has many books on the wisdom of Celtic Spirituality. His first one, Anam Cara is a gem. O’Donohue, J. (1997). Anam cara: A book of Celtic wisdom. HarperCollins.

2 Read more on this: Ó Duinn, Seán. (2000). The Rites of Brigid: Goddess & Saint. Columba Press.

3 Parker J. Palmer. (2018). On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, and Getting Old 

4 There are many writers on the Celtic Rites of Passage and Ritual. One good place to start is Matthews, John & Caitlín. (1995). The Encyclopaedia of Celtic Wisdom: A Celtic Shaman’s Sourcebook. Element Books.

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