By Jan Flynn
I got my first journal as a present from “Santa” when I was nine years old. It was a small pink leatherette book with the words “Dear Diary” in gold script emblazoned just above a small gold lock with a tiny key. As I started writing that first night, I knew I had discovered something amazing. I wrote about my day, about how much I disliked having a baby sister, and about how I wished to be an only child again. I didn’t know about introspection or therapy. I just knew that writing it down made me feel better and that locking those thoughts away gave me a special feeling of control. I’ve been journaling ever since.
Somewhere along the way I came across a definition for a “journal” that I like. A journal is simply a personal record of occurrences, experiences, thoughts, and reflections kept on a regular basis for the purpose of creating a meaningful connection with yourself. I like the idea that the verb form…to journal…is the act of me making a mindful connection to myself.
Why Journal As We Age?
Consistent and introspective writing can be an important addition to the “toolkit” of those things that add significantly to our experience of becoming a Conscious Elder.
First, science tells us that journaling is good for our mental and physical health. American psychologist James Pennebaker has studied the impact and benefits of journaling. Identifying emotions, capturing our feelings about both positive and negative events, and simply chronicling our day-to-day experiences helps to promote better mental health. Journaling also promotes mindfulness. The process of introspection helps us stay more grounded in the present. Awareness of, labeling of, and writing about our innermost feelings provides a way to cleanse, let go, and move on, particularly in terms of releasing negative emotions.
Journaling can increase your positive outlook which can help to reduce stress and aid in staving off depression, both of which lead to better physical health. Researcher Robert Eammons found that simply writing about the good things you experience, gratitude journaling, helps you have a more balanced and holistic view of your life. Expressing gratitude also has a positive impact on better sleep and on helping your immune system.
The consistent practice of journaling also provides a way to remember, all the more important as we age. When we journal, we capture the moments, the impressions, the people, and the thoughts important to us at the time. It’s there, captured so that I don’t lose experience to the uncertainty of memory. These “archives” can play an important role in life review. Looking back on journal entries from years ago, I always amaze myself at what I learn and am so thankful that I have a record of times and memories I’ve forgotten.
Journaling can help with the all important process of forgiveness. The privacy of a journal provides a safe space to chronicle the who, what, how, and why of those we need to forgive and those from whom we need to seek forgiveness. Writing openly, deeply, frankly, and honestly about the person, the events, the outcomes, and the emotions of forgiveness can help with the clarity needed to engage in the process of forgiving, and of being forgiven.
It is said that the wise Sage travels light. Private and introspective writing can bring an important dimension to the process of letting go. Ask yourself questions like :
- What am I holding on to that gets in my way?
- What parts of my younger self do I need to let go of?
- What am I getting out of holding on?
- What do I need to do to let go?
Answer them honestly and let your mind go where it will. Again, writing about it in an open and honest way helps to gain clarity.
What I’ve Learned From Years of Journaling
I realize in writing this that I’ve been keeping some kind of journal for almost seventy years. Here’s a random assortment of lessons I’ve learned along the way:
- Journaling takes commitment, yet when I let it become a chore, I don’t do it. Consistency is key. Commit to writing fifteen minutes at least four days a week. Pick a time that works for you. My morning ritual is my coffee, my cat on my lap, and my journal.
- Don’t worry about your writing. There are no rules and no right way to do this. Journaling is the place for fragmented thoughts, incomplete sentences, run on sentences, bad grammar, choice curse words, and even doodles. Remember that you’re writing is there for your personal reflection and for yourself alone.
- Consider journaling each day as a kind of meditation. It’s time to slow down, sit still, breathe, and focus. In Tanzania, I learned the Swahili words “pole’ pole’ (po-lay, po- lay)”…slowly, slowly. It’s the way of life there. Let journaling be your pole’ pole’ time.
- Simply begin by writing about what’s happened in your life and how you’re feeling about it. Know that we often remember events, places, and people without remembering our reactions to them. Capturing your feelings is an important aspect of remembering.
- Be honest with yourself. Pay close attention to anything that crosses your mind. Record the joy and the wonder, and don’t be afraid to let the negativity flow if that’s what comes up. Learn to not censor your thoughts.
- Treat yourself to a good journal and find what works for you. I love beautiful smaller- sized journals with lined pages for my day-to-day work. Two brands that I like are journals from Peter Pauper Press and from Paperblanks. If you like a larger, notebook- sized journal, try the ones from Dingbats or from Moleskin. All are available on Amazon.
- Find a pen that works for you. There’s nothing worse for me than trying to let my thoughts flow when my pen won’t. My current favorite pen is the Pilot Precise Varsity. Again, Amazon. It’s an old school fountain pen, but disposable. I love it!
- Capture your dreams! Dreams can tell us a lot about our subconscious minds, not to mention how much rereading a dream from the past can make us laugh. When we talk about our dreams, we usually recount them is visual images, much like scenes from a movie. Try capturing your dreams this way. Put each scene in a “thought bubble” and connect the bubbles with arrows. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Journaling can provide a rich and rewarding experience when done with consistency, mindful attention, and persistence. It provides us with the opportunity to look back with a degree of accuracy that memory does not always assure. It helps with our growth process in becoming Conscious Elders. Through journaling, we can revisit who we were, focus on who we are now, and more clearly think with intention about who want to become. It’s a powerful tool to add to the kit of those things that can help us age well. Happy writing!
Among other things, Jan Flynn, Ph.D., is a mother, a grandmother, an avid traveler, a cattle drive cook, and a certified Bar B Que judge. For the past 15 years, her academic and consulting work has focused on transition from one generation to the next in family businesses. Seeing her older clients struggle with letting go and moving on to the next phase of their lives, she began to explore the work of ageing, particularly as it relates to embracing growing older with grace and purpose. This led her to become a Certified Sageing Leader with Sageing International and to work to become a retreat guide with the Center for Conscious Eldering. She can be reached through email at jan.flynn@bellsouth.net.
